Looking Through Tears

Sometimes I get stuck in her flashbacks and cry and cry, I sob so deeply I wish I would drown not to feel this eternal weeping. Cocaine’s really good for that stuff, numbing, but I don’t do coke anymore. I worked really hard to get to this point, not to self medicate, to feel. Often I can’t stop, so I drink, not a lot just two glasses. Seeing Lucas, who she cried over the longest triggers me. For awhile it was good, the loops stopped, then they started again. This painting is like looking through tears, it feels like my permanent worldview. Another consequence of my abilities. I’m happy to help, but it’s hard to recover. Two people lived that moment L’wren Scott and me, both were changed, one of us deserves justice. Have you had moments where you just have to fall apart continuously to heal? Artist: Diango Hernandez