Signs Of Mental Abuse

There are some toxic people in my family, one of my sisters for example has always been touched, like a live wire with water thrown onto it, flaying around dangerously looking for something to electrocute. A pathological liar even from youth, she claimed to be the one to have diagnosed my baby sister with brain cancer. Something she truly believed. Except she was in second grade and still has no medical experience to do anything of the sort. As time went on she continued to warp stories to suit her horrible behavior: she got caught skipping school so my parents hired a private eye to find out where she was going (I had nothing to do with it, but she wrote a letter to them trying to throw the attention on me, except I was an honor student at a school she wasn’t smart enough to get into), she then claimed to be flying private jets with millionaire friends to Miami, turns out she was selling weed upstate, she’d lie, cheat and steal. It became very apparent as time went on that her underlying conditions are a part of who she is, delusions of grandeur, entitlement my parents fed into by giving her shopping sprees she didn’t deserve and not rectifying her behavior. The girl has a bevy of issues and one of them is definitely being mentally abusive and a narcissist. Compounding the issue is her extreme acid abuse.

My friends thought I was exaggerating until they had an encounter where she just SNAPPED, leaving them frightened that she would harm us. She gave everyone clean glasses, but me she gave a dirty measuring cup, when I asked for a glass she got angry and kicked all of us including her friend out. Screaming as she always does, because she doesn’t know how to communicate without a level of anger that will get her or someone else killed.

If I ignore her or am nice to her is irrelevant, she has always been fixated on comparing herself to me and coming up short. As I enter a new stage in my life it has become clear this isn’t someone who can be in my life ever again (as well as some other members), like ever, I’ve given her endless chances, knowing she doesn’t love herself, but she’s a danger to herself and others. She reminds me of my ex friend Derek, also mentally abusive and a narcissist, but his story is for another time. People like them have to be shown the door and you have to love yourself enough to do it. They will try to project their issues on you, but don’t let them. Goodbye and good riddance. Is there someone who is mentally abusive you need to let go off? Are you mentally abusive?

What Are You Celebrating?

The things I am grateful for this holiday season:

  • True Love: Following all the signs to false flame after false flame I almost gave up. True love is rare and something that should never be taken for granted, of course you couldn’t get there without the next item.
  • Self-Love: Not seeking validation that you’re worthy from somewhere else. You cannot find true love without it. This is a hard task, since you have to go through so much trauma acceptance and healing, but definitely worth it. In the end you will find happiness in each day. You accept that you are complete but still a work in progress and there is nothing wrong with that, you’re human, imperfect by definition.
  • Boundaries: I have some extremely toxic people in my family and I’ve had some in my social circle (which I will address in my next post), kicking them to the curb has only allowed for better things to come. I use to hold on for far too long, now I have no problem dropping people. People have no right to disrespect you and believe they are owed eternal chances. Smear your shit somewhere else.
  • God: Always. Blessings and miracles aplenty.
  • My Gifts: At first I found it a burden, mostly because I didn’t understand it. Now seeing how many people I am able to help and energy I’m able to balance I feel fortunate that god would use bestow such a blessing on me. What are five things you are grateful for and why?

Via: Melanin Me Podcast

De-Conditioning: Thanksgiving Edition

As time goes on Native Americans, the ONLY people with a true claim to this land, lose it. The current administration has attempted to block coronavirus aid and reverse laws that protect their reservations. All while pretending to be an ally. How often do you pay attention to Native American issues?

*Start here: https://www.indian.senate.gov/news/press-release/memo-fact-checking-trump-administration-s-attempt-re-write-its-native-american

Book Recommendation: https://sainttwenty.com/2019/10/16/there-there/ (Will be adding more, other people’s narratives are important).

Via: NDN Collective & Soap Box Stand

Happy Birthday Tina Turner

Tina “Legs” Turner this belated birthday goes out to you. A phoenix who rose from the ashes of abuse and became more iconic than the man who built her career while trying to destroy her. You were a queen then and you’re a queen now. Your story helped shape me into the woman I am today (including the music duh). Thank you. What’s your favorite Tina Turner song?

Reboot: Birth Of Venus

Which Sandro Botticelli reboot resonates with you the most? It’s the second variation for me, the climate change is apt. Certain people have a lack of regard for the planet we inhabit and the elements needed to sustain us. This is the level of stupidity that irks my soul. Clean it up, stop distorting facts to fit your horrific behavior. Via: Nowness, Giulia J Rosa, Oreshina Photo & A Pretty Cool Hotel Tour

A Promising Week

Just starting the week off with some positivity. This year has been rough for everyone in one way or another, we all took hard knocks in some area. I’m almost traumatized to get excited for 2021 which is just around the corner, but the only way to go is up. Thanks to Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City I am hopeful. What are you grateful for today? I would say my relationship with god. People act like they about that source life, but not really about that source life (you align with money over humans, you align with oppression, you align with rape culture, you align with hatred, you align with willful ignorance, you align with racism, you align with deceit…). Through god I have received miracles beyond my wildest dreams, I am eternally humbled. Your turn. Via: Advocating Mental Health