Sweet Release


I am free.

I recently sprouted wings and moved out of an apartment I was living in for two years. The energy was just negative and the vibe was tumultuous. But the most important thing about the apartment, is that my roommate worked for my former boss at another establishment, and was spying on me. I couldn’t fart, breathe or sleep without my every move being reported. When she left for L.A, I thought it was over, but she just moved her best friend in, so he could keep tabs.

I was being stifled. How can anyone call a place home when you are under someone’s eye constantly? It started to cause me psychological trauma. I couldn’t be myself, I couldn’t bring a man over and let him ravish me sans consequences.

Finally I am free. After an arduous first week of retrograde I stared to feel alive again, in places I didn’t know I had died. I absconded an emotionally abusive situation. I’m going out again with friends, beautifying my body, I’m dating who I want, when I want, but most importantly I’ve fully fallen in love with myself. Like full on head over heels for me. I can’t go into the details here, but last Thursday at the Soho Grand I was reborn. I watched men I just met fight over me, I changed an entire person’s life, just so they could court me. I realized right then, no wonder he’s obsessed with me. I’m amazing. Of course brother’s would fight over me, of course married men still stalk me. Of course successful womanizers go mad. I am worth it, all the pain I suffered was worth it, for me to feel the way I feel about myself today. I wish this feeling on everyone. It’s the best one I’ve ever had.

My next step is to decipher why I attract emotionally toxic partners (he’s not my first) and dismantle that. What you don’t heal you pass on to your children (I’ll write a post about that later). So I’m asking you, how do you feel today? Do you think you’re worth it? Do you love yourself? Are you in love with yourself? Why or why not?

And to you, the man still tapping my phone. Thank you, I forgive you. I needed you to break my heart, my soul into pieces. You shattered me in ways I didn’t think humanly possible. No one can ever do that again, no one ever will. I’m no longer in love with you, haven’t been for a long time, but I love you for this gift you’ve given me, but also…fuck you.

Artist: Pepi Art

Supermodel 101: Susan Holmes McKagan

Susan Holmes honey, international model, wife to rockstar Duff Mckagan, of Guns N’ Roses. Of course he would lock down this beauty. Those large upturned, almond shaped, feline eyes, those pouty lips and perfectly arched brows. This is the definition of a bad bitch. Please do your homework, these aren’t even close to her best photos. What a a chiseled goddess. Other accolades under belt: author, muse, designer, mother of two, business woman. Photos: Herb Ritts, Richard Avedon, Getty Images.

High Times Trichome

Surry down to the stoned soul picnic
There’ll be trains of blossoms,
There’ll be music,
There’ll be trains of trust,
Trains of golden dust.

Red yellow honey, sassafras and moonshine
Red yellow honey, sassafras and moonshine
Stoned soul.
-The 5th Dimension

James Versus James

James Brown versus Rick James, both legends in their own right. Granted the “Godfather Of Soul” is a whole different level of icon, they were both phenomenal entertainers. Still, when drugs were involved they were both equally scary. James Brown having a bad PCP addiction, once stormed into a seminar, he believed was his hotel room, holding all participants at gunpoint, demanding to know “what the hell they were all doing in his bathroom?” All before a police chase, across state lines until the wheel popped off his car and still he kept going. Once the car went kaput, he exited the vehicle to perform for the officers, who cuffed him promptly afterwards. Amongst other things.

Rick James was known to be volatile under the influence of cocaine. A hell of drug, as he stated in his Dave Chappelle episode with Charlie Murphy. Boy isn’t that true. James and his then girlfriend Mary Saugar, held a woman hostage for days, assaulting her with a cocaine pipe and forcing her to give oral sex, amongst other things.

So the question is, which rockstar would you be less afraid to party with? The Godfather Of Soul or Rick James…Bitch? A question that’s plagued my mind for years. Photos: Getty Images and Rick James Official