Facts. Every single day of this retrograde from Halloween on, has been bananas. Absolutely nuts and life changing. This retrograde was to clear away the things that no longer serve you. Boy did I. From moving, to beginning and ending relationships, to old ideals I had to dismantle. The craziest retrograde I’ve experience thus far. How was your November 2019 retrograde? Was it bonkers? What did you release? How do you feel? Photo: Sun and Yoga
We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
“You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man”
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach to aspire to marriage
And we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes.
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
There are so many pretty faces, who you are inside is what burns the brightest. What’s the most interesting thing about you? Photo: The Good Quote
“You want to manifest your dreams, so you’re not eating? That doesn’t make sense to me, that sounds dumb.”
My response: Well when I manifest what I want I’m going to rub it in your face…bitch.
This was the interaction I had with someone, when I explained that I was fasting. Intermittently fasting, which means I don’t eat for 16 hours at a time. I really didn’t like any of the new spaces I saw, they either wanted me to commit to it long term, or I just didn’t feel it. Finally after passing all these tough life lessons, healing whatever traumas and ancestral genetic codes that needed repair, I have entered into a new beginning. I’m healed.
Everyone’s hurdles are different. My biggest one being that I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t fully have faith that I deserved, or could create the life I want.
So, I decided not to settle. Fasting has worked for me in the most arduous of times. It’s a great way to detoxify your body, improve brain function, repair your immune system and give mental clarity. It cleanses your soul and brings you closer to god. Also to maintain balance one must give to receive, so I sacrificed food. Which is hard, because I love to eat.
Then bingo, bango, I found the cutest space for this transitional period! I’m in a position where everything I want is so, so, so close. An arms reach away, so I did’t want to invest fully. To outsiders leaving a secure, clean, full amenity space based on energy, in the ever expensive New York City seems nuts. But the opportunities of abundance that have blossomed in my life since, has confirmed I know what I’m doing. No matter what someone else thinks. Especially when that person isn’t in a positive mental space.
Fasting worked. So as promised I rubbed it in her face and was like suck it. Have you ever fasted? Would you? Why not try?
Christopher Poindexter. It’s the simple things in life. Monday done right.
Crying can detoxify you of negative emotions. If you feel like crying, cry. We are all human. There is no shame. When’s the last time you cried? Why? Did you feel better after?
Via Auburette. What does this mean to you? Can ones feeling surge and heart remain calm? I think it means fully embrace the feeling, but take it slow.
I am free.
I recently sprouted wings and moved out of an apartment I was living in for two years. The energy was just negative and the vibe was tumultuous. But the most important thing about the apartment, is that my roommate worked for my former boss at another establishment, and was spying on me. I couldn’t fart, breathe or sleep without my every move being reported. When she left for L.A, I thought it was over, but she just moved her best friend in, so he could keep tabs.
I was being stifled. How can anyone call a place home when you are under someone’s eye constantly? It started to cause me psychological trauma. I couldn’t be myself, I couldn’t bring a man over and let him ravish me sans consequences.
Finally I am free. After an arduous first week of retrograde I stared to feel alive again, in places I didn’t know I had died. I absconded an emotionally abusive situation. I’m going out again with friends, beautifying my body, I’m dating who I want, when I want, but most importantly I’ve fully fallen in love with myself. Like full on head over heels for me. I can’t go into the details here, but last Thursday at the Soho Grand I was reborn. I watched men I just met fight over me, I changed an entire person’s life, just so they could court me. I realized right then, no wonder he’s obsessed with me. I’m amazing. Of course brother’s would fight over me, of course married men still stalk me. Of course successful womanizers go mad. I am worth it, all the pain I suffered was worth it, for me to feel the way I feel about myself today. I wish this feeling on everyone. It’s the best one I’ve ever had.
My next step is to decipher why I attract emotionally toxic partners (he’s not my first) and dismantle that. What you don’t heal you pass on to your children (I’ll write a post about that later). So I’m asking you, how do you feel today? Do you think you’re worth it? Do you love yourself? Are you in love with yourself? Why or why not?
And to you, the man still tapping my phone. Thank you, I forgive you. I needed you to break my heart, my soul into pieces. You shattered me in ways I didn’t think humanly possible. No one can ever do that again, no one ever will. I’m no longer in love with you, haven’t been for a long time, but I love you for this gift you’ve given me, but also…fuck you.
Artist: Pepi Art
This retrograde has me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am so tired and have so much to do. Are you too having an intense retrograde? Photo: The Good Quote
Look at Monday as a chance to start anew. Hit those goals, set new ones, enjoy a fresh start. Push yourself. How do you view the beginning of the work week, with dread or optimism? Change the narrative and look to each day with hope.