ADULTHOOD IS A S#!%SHOW
“She only ever seemed to bring out the worst in men. They either wanted to control her, touch her, dominate her, silence her, correct her, or tell her what to do. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t just treat her as a fellow human being, as a colleague, a friend, an equal, or even a stranger on the street, someone to whom one is automatically respectful until you find out they’ve buried a bunch of bodies in the backyard. “
Photographer: Leslie Zhang
I can’t begin to describe the chokehold Joseline Hernandez and that piece of paper had on us in 2016 (read Puerto Rican Princess Vibes). She even pushed Karlie Redd over the edge, that’s no small feat. She was sick of Joseline waving that damn envelope and snapped at that table. When those papers revealed nothing, not a thing, as in blank, my jaw dropped. Like what…Iconic behavior. A stellar performance. The scheme was real, learn from this. Via: Hip Hop Wired & Twitter
“If you’re aiming for perfection, you won’t make anything at all.”
Via: Basquiat.JPG
A prelude to an upcoming restaurant piece, that’s exactly what this is. I want to talk about something positive for a second. Although I’m not a Blue Smoke for life type, because those bonds kept more people stagnant than ambitious or evolving, I’m grateful for this man right here. Chef Alex Harris. Before meeting him I was a kitchen disaster. No one let me cook, because I couldn’t. Once in fifth grade my mom told me to warm milk, I ended up burning her tea kettle. How was I suppose to know? My comprehension didn’t increase with age, it became a trait of mine, getting me kicked out of copious kitchens. Until I met with Alex.
Working at Blue Smoke I only had time to be a server’s assistant, a duty that includes running food. A well oiled machine, Alex hated when I was assigned to a different position. If I were, he’d tell me to run food when I could. My food running skills were it. I’m talking carrying three plates and a side dish, coupled with speed and grace, that made us an indomitable team for the 700 covers that night. Watching Alex Harris work was awe inspiring. I started asking him how to make things, his answers turned a daunting task fun. Alex didn’t demonstrate anything, he simply gave verbal instructions, that’s how fucking good he is.
I couldn’t cook kale, despite having watched my ex-boyfriend hundreds of times. Inedible was an understatement.
“3 to 5 minutes medium heat,” he answered while expediting. Boom, life changed.
Anytime I had a question I’d go to him.
I started to watch what he was doing, asking him why he was doing it. He taught me what brining is.
One of my favorite childhood memories is the smell of home cooked meals, wafting through the hallway afterschool, as I ascend the stairs to our apartment. Wanting my own kids to experience that, I put in the work.
Never let failure define you. Okay you’re bad at something, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. A lesson the people I outgrew seemed to miss, change is the only constant. Never stop evolving, challenging yourself, pushing yourself. Comfort zones are death. Don’t let someone else dictate your limits.
It took some time convincing people to trust me with their palates again, making their surprise and pleasure over something I created ten times more enjoyable. No one doubts me now. I can make a full Thanksgiving meal on my own easy, all thanks to the great Alex Harris. I don’t know if he teaches cooking classes, but he should, without him I’d still be a culinary joke. UPDATE HE DOES EXACTLY THAT WITH EMMA’S TORCH! Via: 1 To 1 Foods
Updated: 4/7/2024 11:38pm
Photographer: Courtneys_Shawts
Current mood, Joseline Hernandaz on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, plotting then perfectly executing putting Stevie J on child support. Prior to the Puerto Rican Princess’s plan, his ex Mimi Faust allowed him to pay for their daughter sans litigation. Concocting a story, Joseline tells Mimi that Stevie got another woman pregnant behind her back. I mean she literally hired someone to lie, prompting Mimi to get court mandated support.
Only when she drove miles to meet this secret family, did Mimi discover it was all a ruse. Joseline was out for revenge, that entire season she successfully ruined lives. All she had was a single piece of blank paper folded up, waved around ardently, it was brilliant. I have the same determination, armed with the truth, to put my ex in prison. Side note: Joseline get it together ma. You’re an amazing villain, iconic television, you’re fumbling bags with your behavior. That original cast was fucking gold, I’d never seen people lie so often, blatantly on television. Like fully cheat on camera, then say naw it never happened.
Remember ladies, well behaved women don’t make history. Smash the patriarchy. Via: Bossip
“I just think it’s very important that we get our names right,” Ailin says to a smattering of applause. “I used to be afraid of telling people they’d gotten my name wrong, but I’ve now made it a part of my praxis. It matters that we defy white supremacy, every day, bit by bit. It matters that we demand respect.”
Photo: Xiaowen_Ju
Right. I had someone use smoking me up for free as bait, a prelude to what he believed would be us having a future family. Something he let slip by accident, after getting too stoned. The feelings weren’t mutual. It was a very awkward night. Set clear boundaries to avoid misunderstandings. Via: Vintage Stoner Art
Rediscovered this missing poster created by reporters on Rihanna’s 777 plane tour. Water was limited, but liquor overflowed. One person driven to insanity ended up streaking through the plane. Rihanna is a star, not a spectacle.
Unmanufactured insanity, iconic behavior (read Cindy Adams Stars Versus Spectacles). Queen Ri was a wild bitch back in the day. If you so much as threw a thimble of shade she’d drag you on Twitter.
Nobody was safe, not Beyonce, not Ciara, not Piers Morgan, not MTV, not Azealia Banks, not Teyana Taylor, not Joan Rivers, not Amanda Bynes, not Kendall Jenner, to name a few. I’m just honored to have lived to see it in real time. Via: Mashable
In case you missed it: https://mashable.com/feature/rihanna-plane-tour-history-five-years
Monica Garcia has been fired. Based on Andy Cohen’s facial expressions at the reunion we knew this was coming. She barely felt remorse and lied throughout; from what she said in her casting email, to claims production knew she was Reality Von Tease. She also seemed puzzled by Heather Gay’s anger, not knowing where the conflict between them came from (deadass). Girl you owe Beauty Lab thousands of dollars, what you mean…? As iconic as she is, Monica’s vibe screamed pathological liar. Her time as a housewife may be over, but she’d be a perfect addition to Villains. Let’s get to the issue at hand though, Gossip Girl.
Almost every other weekend my stepdad took my sister and I to Barnes & Nobles. At the time there were two in the 86th street and Lexington area. The larger one was where the young people went. Purchasing books was a highlight of my adolescence. We’d go in, browsing the covers, deciding which to buy. Angus Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Renninson was our shit, we devoured that entire series. Low-key I’ll always wonder if I manifested my very own Angus with Jagger, my deceased cat. She was just as bad. Smh.
One weekend I spotted Gossip Girl by Cecily Von Ziegesar. I was already hooked by the cover, but sold when I read the summary. Upper East Side teens? That’s me and my friends. I took it to school immediately. Merely pulling it out got everyone’s attention. With all of us being able to relate, that series spread like wildfire.
Unfortunately Monica, Gossip Girl did stay Gossip girl forever in the books. Years, years of my life were wasted for this anticlimactic bullshit! A grudge was born. Not only did I stop reading the books when the new class took over, but I adamantly refused to watch the show. Elucidating to anyone with ears that Gossip Girl wasn’t finna play me again. Only caving in 2018, because my friend told me my relationship with someone reminded them of Chuck & Blair.
Binge is an understatement, not only was she right, but the show was fantastic, accurate, some of the best art I’ve ever seen. I don’t think I could’ve handle the anxiety of watching in real time though. My point being, in the books Gossip Girl did stay anonymous forever, one of the many reasons the show was better. As a pretentious Manhattanite I’ve never said that before. I had an entire existential crisis about watching Apple TV’s Changeling, after I discovered it was originally a book! After thirty minutes I decided this would be my exception. I always read the book first, knowing the film or show won’t equal its greatness. Gossip Girl not only proved me wrong, but spawned iconic villainous behavior. Monica Gossip Girl Garcia Fowler, you will go down as one of the best villains in reality television history. Amazing season ladies. Artist: Ruthan Rep (Updated: 12/14/2024 4:50am)