Don’t forget to do something to nurture yourself. Burn out isn’t cute. Live a better life with self care, a form it’s health care. Which activity are you going to do? Via: Belneus
Self Care Checklist: Pick An Activity
All articles filed in Self-Care
No, You’re Not Selfish For…
The key to life is balance. Thus we have the saying, everything in moderation. We can’t be too self-serving or selfless. Unfortunately everyone, emphasis on women, are taught to be the latter. Society is always trying to dictate how one should live their life, seeking the validation of others. Leading me to remind y’all to set boundaries and stand your ground. Otherwise you’ll be bled dry. Self-care isn’t selfish. Via: MonkNotion
Receiving The Softness You Give
Absolutely do not let people siphon your energy, getting nothing in return. I’ve seen far too many people carrying the weight of the world, being there for others without a shoulder to cry on. Strong people need the same care, check in on them. Strong people, allow yourself to receive the softness you give. Artist: Soleoade
What Outgrowing Relationships Feels Like
Precisely how I felt when I started to evolve, but the people surrounding me didn’t. Changing isn’t easy, but worth it. I began feeling listless during over everyday interactions, because our conversations were lacking sustenance, depth. We weren’t teenagers anymore, I needed variety and it wasn’t happening. Yes, it’s unfortunate to outgrow things, especially people you love, but goodbye is a form of self-care. Endings bring new beginnings. Discomfort brings growth. Artist: Sarah_Akinterinwa
What Causes Abuse?
Just so we’re clear. Abusive people cause abuse, be it verbally, emotionally, mentally or physically. It’s their fault, not the victims. Via: WhyWomenDontLeave
“Everything I Know About Love” Dolly Alderton
Pretty much waited a year for this book. It was like stepping into a time capsule and looking in a mirror. Despite growing up in London to my New York City, Dolly Alderton’s upbringing as a millennial was the same as mine. Although she used MSN messager instead of AIM. A year older than me, her experiences were extremely relatable. From the dawn of the internet to partying like a hedonistic rockstar, Keith Richards serving as inspo (read Happy Birthday Keith Richards!). My friends and I lived out our 20’s in the same vein, I too dubbed this feminism, our millennial burning of bras. The search of adventure, feeling invincible, knowing the armor of youth providing regenerative superpowers after a night out was ephemeral. The messiest decade, leading me to create this blog. After commiserating about our hardships a co-worker crowned me the saint of our 20’s, due to my sage survival advice. Which is essentially what this memoir does.
Alderton navigates adulthood and learns love comes in many forms, focusing on her friendships over romantic partners. Not everyone is meant to have a permanent lover and children, which has been the mandate for women due to the patriarchy. Her biggest lesson is external love amounts to nothing without learning to love yourself. Still gobsmacked that she calls the emptiness from lack of self-love the void (me too). How carrying around that icky feeling propels you to do the inner work and evolve into a better person. Accepting your imperfections and learning to love yourself in spite of them. Finally enjoying your own company, instead of looking outside for fulfillment and removing the wrong people from your life, because you’ve changed. Literally went on the same exact journey, same terminology and all. This memoir asks the reader, how do you define yourself and why? Also why were we all trying to be Keith Richards? Via: Amazon
Give Yourself Some TLC
Whatever you do with your time off, make sure it’s enjoyable. Self-care should be a daily priority, but life happens. Sometimes there’s too much to do and not enough time for small indulgences. That being said, make sure you carve out some wee time to catch up on self-care activities. Be it 15 minutes or an hour. Choose something from this list if you’re at a loss. How are you going to show yourself some tlc? Via: MySelfLoveSupply
Stop Expecting Better
Lesson learned. When people show you who they are, believe them. Doesn’t matter if it’s friends, family, partners, co-workers etc…
You’re doing yourself a disservice seeing potential and not reality. The change isn’t coming, let them go and make room for something better (especially if they have a personality disorder and aren’t recieving the treatment they need). Who are you disappointing yourself for? Via: MirrorsReflectYou
Monday Versus Friday: Yasmeen Ghauri
How you start the work week, professional, demure even. Versus how you end it, scantily clad and looking for a good time. It’s the weekend now, you’re a different bitch. Go live life on your days off, do something that makes you happy. Via: Yasmeen Ghauri Archive
Own Your Toxicity And Fix It
Recognize toxic traits, be it from the people in your life, or yourself.
So many people gaslit me when I’m a literally a victim of domestic violence, racism and more and it’s not okay. Then you wonder why I’m apathetic to the destructive byproduct of my anger. The way black women are vilified, mistreated and invalidated isn’t okay. Everyone who did this, especially other black women, will pay. There’s a special place in hell for people like you. Own that you’re a toxic person, that’s why you’re in this mess. You’re a gross, vile, low-vibrational, evil and/or envious human being, who has contributed to and perpetuates all that is wrong with humanity. Period. Creating a false narrative about someone you’re jealous of, who you assumed things about, rather than asked. Showing your true shitty colors. Spend the same time you did bumping your gums to spread lies and hatred, to apologize and work on your nasty traits. Keep that same energy you had for me, when you look in the mirror and confront yourselves.
It’s amazing how little accountability people take, if you talked the talk, be adult enough to own your shit, especially when you’re wrong and apologize. Then go fix yourself, instead of focusing on somebody else. You’d be a lot further along, trust. That’s why I’m blessed and so highly favored I’m a Goddess, doling out your karma and fate. I don’t possess these traits, because I’m an introspective, self-aware person, aiming to be better than myself. Not better than my friends, not better than my family, not better than my co-workers, but myself. That’s the difference between us. When I see something terrible about myself I own it, work on breaking the pattern, no matter how hard. I don’t project my inner self-loathing, nor spread my crappy circumstances onto other people, to make myself feel better for five seconds. That’s how you grow into a healthy, mature, happy adult. Who feels good about who they are and loves themselves. You can’t say that, because happy hoes ain’t hating and hating hoes ain’t happy. Unless you have certain types of mental and/or personality disorders, there’s no excuse. Do you possess these toxic traits? What are you doing to fix it? Do you know someone who does? Are you being honest with them? Toxic people and behavior block your blessings. Via: Nedra Tawwab