All articles filed in Black Girl Magic

How many times have I almost hit my head and died?
-On my grandmother’s death anniversary, almost cracking my head against the rocks at the beach.
-When I took a Seroquel bar from a stranger. She was right advising me to break it into eight pieces “…this stuff can kill you.” I took an eighth, slept walked (which I’ve never done before or since), turned the stove on, placed an empty pot next to it, and on my way back to my bedroom passed out in my stepdad’s room. My head just missing the edge of his wooden bed frame. Since I fell from standing my skull would’ve cracked. I woke up encircled by faces looking down at me, everyone thought I died.
-In gym when Sebastian C. (who looks exactly like Will Smith, but in that moment pulled a Michael Jordan) competitive af in Strasser Ball (which was really European handball, but our hot gym teacher gave it his name), slammed me into the ground from standing. Literally I saw stars, cartoon depictions of head injuries are completely accurate. The nurse wanted his blood, she cursed him the fuck out. In his defense we were all competitive, sore winners and losers.
-When I was wasted and just missed slamming my head on a large paint bucket from standing.
-At Blue Smoke, in the attic I slammed my head on the thick metal piping and had to be escorted down after taking a minute to gather my bearings.

”Something is trying to kill me,” I said to myself and others.

My grandfather was a very evil and feared man, he wasn’t someone to fuck with. I barely knew him, only meeting him twice in my life that I can remember, if that. He was a domestic abuser, beating his women including my beloved grandmother whose right earlobe he split (for years I always lost my right earring and only a few back did I connect the dots. It’s her telling me she’s here). My grandmother who half my tattoos are dedicated to, with a third coming, was his second wife. His first wife was Linda.

My grandfather would abuse her often; she made a deal with the neighbors if she bangs on the wall call the cops. Except every time the cops came she’d cover for him, then he’d threatened them. One night Linda banged and banged and banged, but they didn’t make the call and she died. He pushed her so hard into the glass table her skull cracked. Fearing jail he left immediately seeking out the help of Voodoo Mary, selling his soul in exchange of escaping prison. When he returned, when the ambulance came, they ruled it an accident, that she tripped and fell. He got away with it in this world, but not the next.

People with high sexual energy are often healers, which is why after telling this story a million times, replaying it in my head, it didn’t make sense until I told Cara Delevingne. Everything clicked.

The domestic violence I’ve been going through, nobody helping (one person helped me astrally when I didn’t know I needed it, nor did I ask, I’m forever grateful), almost dying, I was paying for what my grandfather did to Linda!!!! That’s why I was always experiencing near death head injuries, just like Linda. Had I not figured it out I wouldn’t have escaped, finding myself in another bad situation, because generational karma and curses are real. That’s why the cards kept saying turn to your ancestors! The story of my grandfather was the key! Now I’m free.
Ancestry is important, what we do we pass down until it’s broken, or healed. Had I not resolved this it would’ve kept happening, it would’ve passed down to my kids epigenetically. Which this world can’t afford, each possessing the powers to save it. I can’t believe it took me this long.

After figuring it out I connected to her, she wants her story told. She wants people to know what happened to her, that it wasn’t fair. The first page of my book will be Linda’s story. I am so sorry, I’m sorry for what he did to you. You deserved better, women deserve better. He doesn’t get to take your peace in both worlds. Thank you. You are a hero, because of you a lot of abusive men are going to be exposed so they don’t hurt anyone again. I don’t know you, but I love you. Everyone will know your truth. I will dedicate my life to fighting domestic violence, I promise you this. And as for those reading it now, if there is a reoccurring negativity in your life look for the pattern then look to your ancestors. You may be reliving their karmic debt. Resolve it for yourself, for your offspring. Artist: Melanins Vibe Podcast