I’ve recently got over this god awful habit of holding on to relationships that have gone beyond their expiration date. As in the milk has gone bad, smells putrid and has curdled into butter yellow chunks. Red flag after red flag didn’t deter me, nope, no siree, I kept chugging along in toxicity. This was especially prevalent in what I thought was my ultimate soulmate connection. Disregarding the warnings in my meditation, psychics and synchronicities out in the world. I just couldn’t let go, because if I did it would equate to a failure I didn’t believe my heart could repair. He was the one who made me believe in love again, the missing pea in my pod. Not that I wasn’t whole and complete, which I wasn’t, but he taught me I was worth being that. When he appeared in my life I started to take care of myself, cut out sugar, exercise, create and commit to a spiritual routine, set boundaries and ironically ditch relationships that weren’t worth saving.
When it finally crashed into fiery flames, with no survivors on the plane I still didn’t let go. Then one day at the beach I realized he was just a teacher. He showed me all the voids I needed to fill within myself, to love myself by viewing me through his eyes. So of course I didn’t want to let go. But a relationship between us could never work because he was emotionally unavailable, flighty, rigid and valued image over reality. I gave to no avail, he received. We were imbalanced. The lessons I learned through him I had to apply to him. It was time to move on. This ship is sinking and no one is coming to save us. But guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that.
Just because we didn’t end up together romantically doesn’t devalue what we had. How beautiful for someone to come into your world and teach you things to enhance, elevate and evolve? The milk was silky, creamy and refreshing once, but now it’s spoiled and if I drink it I’ll get sick. That’s the way you should think of the people who come and go.
Is there someone you need to let go of? Are you clinging on due to fear, ego or insecurity? Is there someone you have let go of recently? What did they teach you along the way?
Photo: Cosmic Connection
