This is a memoir about a marriage that abruptly ends during COVID. Belle Burden, her two kids, and husband are all locked down on Martha’s Vineyard. When she receives a message from a random man, claiming her husband and his wife are having an affair. Stunned to the core, as they’ve been married for going on 20 years, she confronts him. Her husband not only admits to the infidelity, but tells her to keep the kids, the house they’re in currently and the apartment in Manhattan, deciding to stay with his mistress. Instantly he becomes cold towards her, barely answering her messages, acting like she’s a nuisance, when begs him to spend time with their children, and getting his family to cut her off. He only visits his daughters in order to find the prenup. Leaving Belle Burden to ask, who did I marry?
The author of this memoir comes from a prestigious family, the granddaughter of Babe Paley, a Capote Swan immortalized in Ryan Murphy’s FX hit. A descendant of John Jay, her husband also comes from a line of privilege, lost when his father suffered a breakdown. Both high powered attorneys, they met while working at a law firm. As the story of their marriage progresses, the reader watches as Belle minimizes herself to the point of being a NPC character in her own life. A babysitter. An afterthought. As she shares the timeline of their love story, to navigating a brutal divorce.
Spoiler Alert:
This book was difficult for me to read, because the author literally shrinks herself to nearly non-existent for a man. From inception he was abusive and she couldn’t see it. Their relationship moves quickly as he love bombs the shit out of her, becoming blasé once the deal is sealed. He makes her give up her career, so she’s financially dependent on him. Emptying her trust funds on their homes, she leaves the marriage with barely anything. Allowing him to change the prenup, joint purchases can be split, but whatever they keep in their names separately remains that way. While she adds his name to the deeds, he literally keeps all the money throughout his successful career to himself. She doesn’t receive a dime. Putting way more into their marriage than he does.
Furthermore, he barely interacts with their kids. Never helping with homework, meals, supporting them by showing up to their events, he practically lives at work. When they’re a little older, she’s offered a job and he tells her she can’t do it. He also asked her to make him a sandwich AFTER breaking up with her, which she does. The only sandwich he’d get from me is of the knuckle variety. I mean, a complete shit show. She literally doesn’t protect herself financially and lets him walk all over her like a doormat. Describing instances of mental and emotional abuse as love. Meanwhile I’m like, is the love in the room with us? At any point. Ever. He never prioritized her happiness, her feelings, once she couldn’t go anywhere. Yet, she allowed it like an idiot. The decisions she makes were not ones of an educated adult, causing me to be angry at both of them. I’m happy she found her voice, eventually. True love doesn’t ask you to make yourself small. No healthy relationship does. Via: TheDialPress