As long as you heal. I used to carry around so much trauma; I was miserable and empty, consuming so much to fill the void. Destroyed and dragged to the depths of my own inner hell, it wasn’t easy, but damn it was worth it. Heal, it’s the best gift you could ever give yourself, no matter how long it takes. Are there traumas or inner demons you don’t want to face? Pick something small and start there. You can do it.