To all the cheapskates I’ve served over the years: Kelly Rowland (read Kelly Rowland And Lala Anthony Are Trash), Christian Siriano, Stella Maxwell (read Stella Maxwell My Most Annoying Guest), Wayne Brady (you aren’t terrible, but you aren’t great, it’s the low end of mid-tier tipping, still love you Wayne), this is how you do it. Pyper America (real surname Smith) is gorgeous, sweet and a fucking lady. That’s almost 50%. I don’t remember if I told you, but I loved Beverly Hills Mom. Bring it back! Bring it back! Let me go through something’s to see if I still Kelly’s. If you can’t tip properly, don’t go out to eat. It’s classless. Cook & serve your goddamn self instead. Via: Jaquana Cornelius
Easily the most annoying person I’ve ever served, all it took was one time. Stella Maxwell is annoying af. She came to Miss Lily’s with a large party. In all black attire, two mini pigtails and the rest of her hair loose. It took precisely 2 interactions for her to earn this title.
Interaction one: I’m in the front parlaying with the hostess, I forget regarding what. She comes over and ask if I had a cigarette, I said no, pointing her to the deli a block up. In front of said deli a group of guys were smoking.
“Or you could bum one from those people, if you don’t want to buy a pack.”
“I don’t want a pack just one. Can you just like do it for me, or come with me,” she asked in an annoying, whinny voice. She kept nagging me. Bitch I’m on the clock, the fuck I look like walking over for you, or with you to get a cigarette? It takes one person, but she claimed she was “like too freaked out to go.” From the way she was looking at me, trying to get me alone, I asked the hostess if she thought Stella was into girls. Of course my co-worker had no idea who she was (they wondered why I got special treatment, get a clue kid). Now, while I knew who she was I didn’t keep up with her affairs. After our encounter I learned she dated Kristen Stewart, nosey, I needed to confirm my inkling and Googled her.
I had other tables and left her there. Girl, the world doesn’t revolve around you. I’m about my paper. Everything about her irked me, I hate repeating myself, after five minutes of back and forth, move on.
Interaction two: Stella and her party split the check so tacky on multiple cards, and some money. I can’t remember if Cristian Siriano was with her, but they tipped like shit after doing all that. Stella and her nagging “No just do it like this, can you just do it this way. It’s not that hard…” how about you put it on one, or two cards, or half cash the rest on card. Rather than the seven cards (each a different amount) and crumbled bills, Venmo each other. Classless. Rude. Rejected.
This is why when Jordan Barrett used her to try to make me feel a way, I thought him a joke. Like one, you’re self-absorbed, you don’t know how I feel about her. You just assume my standards are the same as everyone else’s. Gorgeous girl, but not much else. Second you both want to bone me, so you look stupid again. Just typical entitled, vain, self-centered, childish in a bad way white people. Like it wasn’t about how they appeared to me, I’m just a by product to their desires. Y’all not the vibe. FYI bitches love me, like literally they fall in love with me. SO dear big face, small brained Georgia May Jagger, that’s mad of your friends, the ugly bitch who tried to kill you (Melanie deformed Hamrick, the reason you’re going to jail), and your father who want to fuck me. Can’t touch this. Everyday you look dumber and you’ve aided me in taking them out. Loser. Via: Puss Puss Magazine