Crying was my full time job. I was a horrible example for my younger siblings, especially my baby sister. Out of four years, the first six months were the only good ones. We couldn’t stop fighting, but our big toes interlocked perfectly, and that was enough to prove we were meant to be.
You went home to Seattle for a week, leaving me to man our abode alone. I spent the first day solo productively doing errands. How fortunate were we, to live ten blocks north of where I grew up? So I could do our laundry for free at my parents house. After lugging it back to 99th and 3rd, it was time to find a better paying job. Attempting to send out my resume, I click the wrong icon and end up in your inbox. My heart seizes. Several ladies have replied to a men for women ad you posted on Craigslist, with bikini clad photos. Bile churns in my stomach. A flash of heat runs through my body, followed by a wave of chills. Try to stop a waterfall from gushing forward with the palm of your hand. The battle between my lower eyelids and my tears. I am heartbroken. How could you?
Confronted you accuse me of snooping, invading your privacy. Suddenly, I’m adjuring you to believe that it was an accident. That I was just applying places, please forgive me. This moment perfectly encapsulates our relationship. You do something horrendous and I apologize for it. Later you tell me you’re lonely in Seattle and just looking for friends. I stay. It takes five years for me to realize you were home, with all the people you know and love.
“Have you ever been hypnotized by the D? Dickmatized?” – Lucas Ross
I thought my friend made it up, but dickmatism is real. I couldn’t leave you, because the sex was so good I cried that time. Like your member was crafted specifically for mine. Yes, sex can be so good it blinds you to the emotional abuse, overt cheating, mean comments and overall deteriorating partnership.
There are many types of lovers, ours was the fate of karmic soulmates. Something unresolved from a past life together, we agreed to fix in this lifetime. This is why we loved so intensely, fought so hellaciously, break up, then make up. The cycle continues until the lesson is learned and the karmic debt settled. Then and only then can you move on.
Yes. Yes I have been dickmatized. Only when I learned to stop having sex with you was I set free.