Sara Tam’s Wedding & The Meaning Of True Love

Sara Donnatin (neé Tam) has been my friend since I was ten years old. She is one of the most important people in my life, she is my family. Growing up we have been through so much and in the past few years due to tumultuous and evil events I haven’t been there for her the way she deserved. I didn’t get a chance to see her in Hong Kong, nor go to her going away party. Now that my life is close to stabilizing (once my final transactions with Mick Jagger are completed) I can show up. Her wedding day is the most important day of her life. Mick Jagger wanted to be the star of the show, by not showing up, but really he’s just an asshole. One time he disappeared for 24 hours just to be the center of my attention. When I go out with friends he does the same. I wanted to take Christina to the wedding, but Mick (Micheal was a boyfriend thing, he’s simply Mick now) insisted on coming. He knew how important this was for me, so he made it another one of his power plays and I’m happy he did. He didn’t deserve to experience that moment and I will never forgive him for making me miss her ceremony, because Sara’s wedding is about her NOT you. I have my own life and it doesn’t revolve around you. To make me an accessory to your life is dehumanizing, to ruin something for the people I love is never going to fly with me. He then had the nerve to say his kids, who are “all about family,” but allowed Naomi Campbell and a slew of people to override his (literally he’s the only reason any of you are relevant, but you know more…) opinions, would grow to love me when I said I didn’t feel comfortable around them. Most disappointing is his black child, despite most of them being older than me, the intellect factor says otherwise. They didn’t feel the need to look into me because I’m a black woman, it’s conditioned racism. My life was on full display, my connections, the events, my stories. There’s NO excuse for their abhorrent behavior especially when I’ve constantly saved them. I don’t care if people who presented themselves as low grade humans love me, I don’t know if I can feel that way about them. Again, after how I was treated they thought I needed to be in their favor, you need to be in mine. They aren’t Denzel Washington’s son, adding to his legacy, forging a path of their own. I didn’t even know John David Washington was his son, because his work speaks first. They’re socialites who get opportunities based on Mick, living under his legacy not adding to it.

What I learned at that wedding is true love exist:
-It’s going to your friends wedding and having every member of their family hold you, because you’re grown up now.
-It’s about the people who passed making you cry, because you grew up together.
-It’s having a self-absorbed rockstar trying to make himself the star of someone else’s day by sabotage and jumping over every hurdle, because nothing was going to stop you from being there. Not Uber, not Mick Jagger, not every hotel being booked so you had to Airbnb (which I didn’t even sleep in, I passed out at my friends hotel), not my phone being left in the taxi (which I got back) NOTHING, not even my own sob story was going to take away Poot’s big day.
-It’s finding home in the people you grew up with, no matter the time or distance.
-It’s about always being there for each other, even when our parent’s weren’t (that part of Gossip Girl is true).
-It’s about Lady standing in a field screaming at the sky and me asking Irene who she’s talking to and her saying honestly the moon. Sometimes she goes out on their home balcony and yells at the moon. “What are you looking at, you never say anything, just stare, say something!” It’s about us pulling Lady from the moon so we could go to sleep.
-It’s about accepting everything about one another in a partnership and working together on what needs to change, showing up for each other (even if you have to go to war with yourself, because letting the people you love down kills you) and reminding one another how extraordinary you are.
-It’s about jumping up and down on the dance floor with strangers, because you’re just happy that your friend is happy.

And from love I won’t accept anything less. You know how many rich men have pursued me? Countless. The only things that matter are the rarities, love (true love) and happiness. I look at all these people who have stalked me and they aren’t to be admired. They’re empty and miserable despite their wealth. My friends and I hold each other accountable, we call each other out, we get messy, we stand up for what’s right, we have fun anywhere.

As for me, I’m done having trust issues. I want a partner to share life with, otherwise everything is meaningless. And for those who choose to go solo, you’re your own partner. P.S Jerry Hall also gets a pass for her marriage, because of Mick Jagger, please don’t get twisted. I grew up on her aesthetic, but the truth hurts. Take the L.

* Yo I’m dead being nice right now. Y’all don’t want me to go in for real trust, you guys would cry. Don’t play with me. I wasn’t scouted, married from poverty, black magicked anyone, or pregnant by a married man, I grew up connected. I don’t turn a blind eye to morality to marry for money. My friends are multicultural unlike some. The only thing I’m guilty of is leaving Emerson one of the most prestigious liberal arts colleges (holla at my alumni) to pursue an artistic and entrepreneurial career. But I guess it’s sketchy because I’m a black woman (didn’t that girl tweet that Naomi was there, was it the girl who was at her adult party as as a teenager with her best friends?). Y’all scream feminism, but your identities revolve around Mick. I have pursuits I put on hold for his plan, don’t EVER come out your face about me. I’ll KO your asses hardcore. I was involved in celebrity drama before Mick. Most of all don’t fuck with my friends important day, that’s how important Sara Tam is to me, you were dragged courtesy of her. And if you don’t like my honesty and blunt way of speaking blame The Stones, Keith Richards most of all, that’s where I got it from. The irony. The rest of The Stones is why I’m not ruining you the way I’d like.