A Reluctant Star

Twelve. That’s how old I was when I signed my first autograph. Walking to Blair’s house on a humid summer day for our usual activities, blast classic rock music and peruse her mother’s closet of designer gowns. Never worn, once upon a time we looked at the tags and gasped, now we play a game.
Oscar De La Renta. Guess how much?”
Always round.
“Four thousand!” I yell.
“Wrong, six!”
We’re competitive.
“Okay my turn. Yves Saint Laurent?”
I watch as she compares houses in her head, both of us too naive to factor in the other variables that dictate value.
“Seven thousand!”
“Wrong, ten!” I gawked. Every week the collection expanded.
“What!” Blair, blond and sure of her estimate, saw for herself. The Doors play filling up gaps of silence.

He tore a piece of looseleaf from a spiral notebook, despite my protest that no I wasn’t a Disney star, or a child star, or a star of any sort.
“You’re going to be famous one day,” I scrawl my government as he insist. “I’m the first person to have your autograph, I’m going to save this, it’s going to be worth lots of money someday.”
Pleased he walks in the opposite direction, towards third, his forest green cap with ear flaps covering his brown curls. He was hispanic and at least 10 years older than me and three inches shorter. What a nut. I went on my way, long limbed and determined to conquer the avenues.

Twelve years later my shift at Blue Smoke ends. Thank the lord. Everyone is gagging, RuPaul is here and the staff is going wild. Unable to find him I make my way out of the Jazz Club. “You look great,” stunned I make eye contact with the legend.
“Thanks,” I reply, secretly wondering if he was on that stuff. I look disgusting, having not changed out of my work clothes post strenuous shift. We walk side by side, it’s familiar and telepathic. Lorelei, dark haired and pale skinned, stops us begging Ru for a photo.
“You come too,” he plucks the shoulder of my leopard print jacket.
“I always love a star.”
Originally in the middle, he rearranges us so he stands only next to me.

Flattered is an understatement, but I’m no star. At least I never wanted to be. Successful, yes, famous, no thanks. All those people in your business, expecting something I wasn’t willing to give. Yet, still it was told to me everywhere. The more I attempted to shrink myself, the more I stood out.

A reluctant star, that’s what I am. Such is my fate. And now it’s time to face it full on, so I’ll use it to better the world. How do you feel about fame? Via: Getty Images

RuPaul Is Retrograde

Francis Bean is the rest of us. Totally forgot it was retrograde until I got a bizarre energetic shift of a feeling. Careful: if you have to sign contracts read the fine print, don’t go back to your ex, expect technology to act up and beware of poor communication, so maybe don’t have important conversations now. But who is Kurt? The apathetic universe? Via: Vintage Drag Queens

Kandy Muse BoBo’s Baby

The category is childhood hair aesthetic for black girls. Bring out the beads, bobo’s and barrettes. I had em all and love them all. Drag star Kandy Muse brought back memories of sifting through packages of bobo’s with my mother at the beauty supply store, figuring out which colors would hang from my twist. Did I miss any accessories? Via: Kandy Muse Instagram

Twenty Twenty One Thus Far

Well… week one was… something. I feel like 2021 is 2020’s messy younger sister. I have no idea where this is going between the riots, the false death of a Bond girl who then died the next day and so much more. I hope it isn’t as traumatic as 2020, but the universe will do what it needs to do. Which Ru sums up your feeling of the new year thus far? I’m caught between Afro Ru on my America is racist af and the last Ru, confused and apprehensive, but still showing up to show out. Via: Supermodels Of The World

Mood: Pandemic Limbo

When the world continues to reopen, but you’re hearing whispers of a second wave. Florida literally got 4,000 new cases in one day, with reports of surges everywhere. Which one best describes your mood regarding pandemic limbo? Number 11 is me. Via: Rupaul Daily

Harimao Lee: World Libraries

The library is open because reading is what? Essential. My relationship with libraries is complex, I live for them ONLY if all the books are brand spanking new. Just the thought of touching a dirty book is enough to make me wash my hands with scalding hot water. All those people, with their dirty hands smudging and sullying up books, that I in turn am suppose to borrow. Yuck. Still these libraries are divine and I think everyone should have books in their homes. Knowledge is power. Which one would you spend the afternoon in? I’m a sucker for that staircase in photo one.

Drag Race Look Queen: Gigi Goode

Here for some RuPaul’s Drag Race. We’re only two episodes in this season and Gigi Goode is my favorite, for no other reason than bitch can put a lewk together. I mean day one with that pirate ensemble I was sold. Work bitch. Which is your favorite fashion moment? Look two is something I’d wear on New Years Eve lol, very Fifth Element vibes. Via: The Gigi Goode