
The only way to weekend in your twenties.
Hit the dance floor then the brunch menu.
If you haven’t woken up somewhere random.
Artist: Eric Stefanski
ADULTHOOD IS A S#!%SHOW

Artist: Eric Stefanski

Girl, wake up and get a fucking clue, most of these bitches don’t like you. Selena Gomez vastly underestimates the envy surrounding her in Hollywood. A coveted triple threat, Selena can sing, dance and act, causing many of her peers to feel inadequate. I can say Taylor Swift 100% loves her, swapping Matt Healy’s soul to save Selena Gomez, despite the risk (read Taylor Swift’s Soul Switch).
Men flock to her, including The Weekend, who treated her far better than he did Bella Hadid (he was probably freaked out by her stealing Carla Bruni’s entire face via plastic surgery). Hailey Baldwin had to do black magic to separate her from Justin Bieber (read The Love Witch Glamour Magic), even his former best friend Benny Blanco yearned for her the entirety of their relationship. Women are also enamored with her, like Cara Delevingne (upsetting Kendall Jenner). Selena Gomez doesn’t need glamour magic to get people to fall in love (read What Is Glamour Magic?).
She’s also the only one who usurps the satanic Kardashian Jenner West coven on Instagram, having a larger following (that’s why Kylie Jenner & Hailey tried to bully her off the platform).
Both her artistic and entrepreneurial endeavors have been massively successful. She’s ingrained in our core memories be it Barney or Wizards of Waverley Place. Selena Gomez is completely self-made and her beauty is raved about, even when she’s plus sized.
A friend of your enemy is your frenemy, cough Eva Longoria cough. All of Selena’s health problems come from the Kardashian Jenner West coven, which Hailey belongs to. I mean hello, they’ve been trying to kill her (read Kylie Jenner Gets Meg Thee Stallion). They seethe, irked that she remains alive and continues to elevate higher. A full package star irritating these spectacles. The fact that I have to point this out proves she’s missing a brain. Via: SelenaGChile
Updated: 9/23/2025 4:49am

It’s only fitting I tell this story since today is Ciara’s birthday. The night she delivered a miracle on 14th (between 7th and 8th avenue) street, for three black women.
We were on the list, but as per colored people time we got there late. Usually I got to events early, because Derek nagged and nagged for us to be there on time. Calling incessantly hours prior to ensure promptness. However on this occasion, he had to fly out to Cali for a business trip with an editor. Left to our own devices Mari, Lauren and I were screwed. When we arrived at Up & Down, a hotspot in New York City, the crowd was massive, all of them lying that they were on the list. It got so unruly the only way to get inside was to have someone come out to claim you, like puppies in the shop window hoping to find a home. At the time, before everything went south, we were OBSESSED with Kylie Jenner. Absolutely adored her; after being dubbed the ugly one, ridiculed for years, she’d finally come into her own as the coolest of the klan. We admired the underdog to king come up. Yes some women actually support other women and mean it. Galore magazine was having a party in honor of her cover.
No amount of discussion would convince the bouncers to even check the list, they loved the power. We watched as random people walked up, inquire about the event, then claim to be on the list. What the fuck? We refused to be clumped in with these liars, but more than anything we were determined. I pulled my friends away from the masses and gave a football coach winning the game worthy speech, before leading us in prayer.
“This isn’t fair, we are actually on this list. We did not come all this way to be like these people, who had no idea what this was until now! We are going to meet Kylie Jenner so help me god. Let’s hold hands and pray, then go to the bar next door to think.”
We did just that, I don’t remember what we said, but our intentions were clear.
Breaking the circle we walked into the pub next door, I was dressed way too cute to turn back now. As I sipped my cranberry vodka, my friends dejectedly waited for their beverages. They talked about how messed up this was, while I noted how empty our surroundings were, sipping from my skinny red straw. Being nosey pays, because in walks in two large bodyguards, with a bobbed figure wearing sunglasses between them. OMG CIARA!
“That’s Ciara!” I screeched, my friends completely missed the sighting. The public was going crazy that she’d recently cut her long tresses, as well as impressed by how major she looked. I jumped from my bar stool and followed her exact route. Other celebrities arrived through the front, she wanted to be obscure and enter through a…SECRET PATH!
I found what I sought. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was standing behind The Weekend as he performed. A lady with strawberry blonde hair popped out of the bathroom, asking if I needed help. I told her I got mixed up and raced back upstairs. Telling my friends what I discovered.
While Lauren and I went outside trying to charm the guard at the side door, who informed us earlier the second way to get in was to know the password, Mari went to the bathroom. Next thing we knew she appeared behind homeboy.
“Stop playing guys let’s go,” without further ado he let us in. Our mouths literally dropped open in disbelief. Mari waited until the performance was over and simply entered through the secret passageway. The only person who contributed nothing to our adventure was Lauren.
We couldn’t believe it, god heard our prayers! Thank you Ciara and happy birthday; you solidified that miracles happen, once in a while when you believe. Via: Actor Cordae Omari