Which of the two is your current weekend warrior mood? Event: rooftop brunch. Via: Christopher I Would Die 4 U (top) Traceys Parade (bottom)
Question one: Were you personally assaulted by New Years Eve? Question two: Are you still going to make it to brunch? I don’t know where I got this photo, but it’s apt for so many today.
I was tipsy and determined to get it in.
The last time I saw him we ended that night at a 24/7 diner, eating brunch at 2 a.m. Ravenous we had everything from steak and eggs, sides of bacon, pancakes, disco fries, beef skitters…I switched between martini’s and mimosas, interrogating our waiter.
“Sir, sir, do you think my eyes are wide set or average? Because look…” Moving my fingers across my face to demonstrate measurements. This man had no idea what I was talking about.
“See I think they are wide set by a smidge, but I really just can’t tell.”
At this point we both started laughing so hard. Poor man with a smile plastered on his face, nodding along. I don’t think he spoke that much english and I was clearly drunk and stoned. It truly was a pleasant evening, filled with laughter, the kind that makes your stomach hurt, leaving you with an everlasting joy that rolls into the next day. Proclamations were made:
“Fuck Soul Plane and fuck Kevin Hart for that. Aerodynamically that plane would never take off, it makes no sense,” I said vehemently. “Look at the front of that plane! It’s too big. I felt like that when the movie came out, I feel like that now.”
“I wish I knew you as a kid, you just never know what you’re gonna say next. I can only imagine when you had no filter.”
As a healer, I believed god put me in this mans path to do just that. To help him transition to a more positive space. When my friend sent congrats gifs on getting it, I told her it ended up being a therapy session. So I was determined on this night.
Don’t get me wrong this man wasn’t about shit, he lied, he omitted, he was a felon and a plethora of other things. However, he was also chiseled, hot and looked damn good in boxer briefs. I wanted to be ravished and dominated, not get married.
He sensed this, so he tried to make me jealous by saying he’d been with other women since his break up. “You’re not my boyfriend, I don’t care, take your clothes off.” He was so insecure, berating himself about his imaginary small penis, saying he had a complex. Just so much talking and not enough action. His penis wasn’t small and if this was him out of shape…I mean he must have had body dysmorphia.
I wanted to keep going after round one, but he was determined to make these drugs deals, asking if I wanted to come. He made more than enough to transition into a different line of work. He loved the lifestyle, he loved chaos and above all else he loved drama.
I saw all the red flags…this man was off… this became very apparent on our last date.
We just came from brunch. The last thing I remember is sitting on the church steps with my friend, in the sunshine, next thing I knew it was night. An hour and half completely erased from my memory. We don’t know where he came from, but he appeared behind us in a pink, wide brimmed hat that reminded me of the monster in Jeepers Creepers. We were standing on a street corner somewhere on the Lower East Side, deciding which direction to head in.
“Should we go in this bar?” Cara asked.
“You don’t wanna go in there,” he said out of nowhere.
“You got weed,” I asked.
“I got more than that.” He replied.
Suddenly we were following behind this brolic man, in a sleeveless shirt. It was uncharacteristically warm for October, but not warm enough for him to be wearing that and long shorts. He mentioned something about my old boss, the one I thought was my twinflame, but it was the way he said it. If you didn’t know who I was why would you segue into a story, about this man without explaining who he is?
That night became a blur, we went into all these bars and paid for nothing. Anything Cara and I wanted he got for us. At one point I told him I didn’t have my second cup of coffee that day and needed one, or I would fall asleep. He proffered a vial of cocaine. I reiterated that I had a caffeine addiction. I didn’t know until Cara told me, but he walked blocks just to get it for me.
He had a chiseled face, with large turquoise eyes, surrounded by thick long black lashes. He was extremely attractive for his age, which is probably why I made out with him after he gave me E. I had no recollection of doing so until Cara reminded me. She said I was normal than she come out of the bathroom and I was standing above the crowd dancing. We were smoking weed inside of establishments that anyone else would have gotten kicked out of. Too many people from my former bosses life started to appear, including this sketchy black man who’d been arrested for drug trafficking. I looked him in the eye and saw a level of insanity that made me uncomfortable. I tried to get out of there instantly, but he cornered me, forcing me to shake his hand. My former boss is a young, good-looking, multi-millionaire who women throw themselves at. The fact that I was the one who got away is a huge deal to those who know him.
The night ended at a studio apartment, with us surrounded by strangers. At 5:30 a.m we called it a wrap and he gladly paid for our transportation home. He got my number and messaged me everyday for a week. Then disappeared.