No Matter What You’re A Failure

The devil has many forms and Sauza tequila is one of them. This is why when at Chipotle you choose Patron for your margaritas. Highly recommended. Seven dollars for a quality cocktail? You do the math. Kara had time to kill before work, so I helped her murder it.

We poured salt into the area of the cup we were going to sip from. Rather than line the rim, he gave us a condiment container filled with it…Okaayyy. But hey it’s a franchised Mexican restaurant owned by McDonald’s, what do you expect? My daily fortune cookie ran through my mind, as I waited for Kara to finish updating her Insta story. Earlier that day we saw a guy donning boxer briefs (? biker short shorts…) tanning in Washington Square Park. Pseudo napping on a bench in a patch of sun, in 48 degree weather, make no mistake it was by no means warm.

“Do what is right, not what you should.” The digital strip of paper said. Wtf does that mean? Isn’t doing what I should the right thing to do? Nonsensical and redundant. The chronic over thinker.

What Kara lacked in size, being of petite stature, was made up for by a gargantuan personality. A lion in chihuahuas clothing. If only she saw herself the way the world did: a stunning young woman, somehow seeming permanently tanned during winter months, with glowing light bronze skin, perfectly arched eyebrows and a good head for business operations. Opening a clothing boutique, with more variety for tiny women is her big dream. A vision blinded by the missing experience, the bad break up and the fear of not having what it takes to achieve said goal. Her aura pervading anxiety. Spending seven years at the same restaurant made her feel stunted, despite having a business degree.

“So let me get this straight, you have the finances and learning tools, but you’re afraid to fail?”
“Yeah.”
“But you’re already a failure.” I loved breaking the news. “You’ve literally failed a million times by just doing basic tasks. The only thing you know how to do successfully from the start is blink and breathe. Think about it. No one came from the womb knowing how to walk (there’s only two places for people like that, should it occur: the morgue or Area 51, can you imagine a newborn just walking on sight… naw b), you had to fail by falling to do it. You had to fail at pronouncing words to know how to read, you had to fail at spelling words to know how to write. Failing isn’t bad it’s how you learn.”

Boom. The most successful, self-made people failed more times than you, so now they know what to do. We watch other people fail to learn as well. It’s the greatest tool we have, it strengthens the skills you need to navigate life. So run with open arms towards it, it’s already happened, it’s going to continue to happen and thank the good lord for it.

My blog updates that day were late. I meant to leave Kara earlier, but ended up going with her to Astor place to get the coolest ear piercing ever. Looking at her sit on that parlor chair, in a small dingy yet sterile place, was the moment I understood.

Going home to update my blog is what I should do, but the right thing to do was be here for my friend. Clearly distressed and shattered after a five year break up, lost about her place in the world. Damn you fortune cookie, you be knowing. Photo: Abdullah Elmaz

Tell Me Your Story…

I know you’re not boring (can’t help but put music in everything). This is really a space for everyone. Adulthood is a passage we all must sojourn in this ephemeral thing called life. By sharing our trials, tribulations and points of view, we can navigate it together.

I’m honored that my friend will be the first to post an experience and would be humbled if you felt the same.

So submit what you want others to understand, a new way of seeing things, your unique perspective to Sainttwenty@gmail.com! This is a place to heal through compassion, kindness and introspection. Also writing is insanely therapeutic. You don’t have to use your real name, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. You need different notes to create harmony, not just my one key. Remember your voice matters. Photo: Light And Text