First, let me start off by saying I have a LOT to say about the housewives this week, I’ll space it out daily as not to overwhelm. I’ll start with Dorinda Medley’s Christmas tree at The Blue Stone Manor this year, she made it nice and unique. I’ve been inspired to now do a curation of my favorite trees! Dorinda you are deeply missed. My thoughts on the NYC branch will come later this week. Hard truths need to be told. Are you into it, or no? Via: Dorinda Medley
1. 50 Cent– Now this list is in NO particular order because I couldn’t rank em, everyone here is quick to the draw. Hell hath no fury like a New Yorkers tongue when irate, anybody can get cursed out deadass. Curtis Jackson can’t go three days without coming for someone. He singlehandedly ruined Ja Rule’s career and continues to antagonize him to this day. After they Fyre Festival footage -it’s not fraud, we just didn’t tell the truth- it’s hard to blame him and the last thing you wanna do is owe this nigga money, he will publicly behead you for all the world to see just ask Randell Emmett and Tierra Marie. What I wanna know is when, where and how was he handing out these loans? One day I woke up and 100 people owed him money by Monday. Don’t come for him unless he sends for you, he has no problem being petty and he will do it in public setting.
2. Nicki Minaj- She’ll drag you at a fashion event, an award show, in a rap song, on social media and at the Real Housewives Of Potomac reunion. With Miss Minaj anybody can get the business anywhere including the entire secret Grammy committee. Long story short she doesn’t give a fuck and while I was dubious about her taking Andy’s spot that preview got me sipping tea henny. Andy Cohen is messy for this one and I quote “I can’t take sides, but you can. Say what you feel.” I swear this man is just chef’s kiss. Never forget her asking Miley what’s good, be grateful her beefs with Lil Kim, Remy Ma and Cardi B are over and be aware that if she don’t got time she’ll make it to read you.
3. The Real Housewives Of New York City- Speaking of housewives no franchise comes close to the curse out of this cast, an accurate depiction of New Yorkers. Unlike their Beverly Hills counterpart nobody is beating around the bush when matters get legal. Luann couldn’t even slip out of a pair of handcuffs and abuse the cops without commentary, mind you she was pushed over the edge by rake Tom D’agostino for whom she sacrificed her title for. I do not think she’s an alcoholic she had a mental breakdown, rightfully so! I digress. When it comes to beheading Bethenny Frankel is QUEEN: talk about it, go to sleep, village idiot, her confessionals, noted, Ramona Singer, honestly everyone’s gotten it from this one. Next would be Dorinda Medley, bring her back! Clip, when she’s drunk stay out of her line of sight, especially if you’re Sonja Morgan. She’s the most gangster housewife even when she’s making it nice. Rounding it out is Luann even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes , Sonja, then Ramona with Leah not far behind.
Unlike other housewives they said what they meant and meant what they said, are even willing to double down on it, what about it bitch…?
4. Cam’ron– Aka Killa Cam, much like Curtis he cannot get through a week without cursing someone out, usually with photo evidence such as dirt on the toilet seat. He ain’t afraid to at you and he will pull up on your block. Harlem World. The only time he will remain silent as he informed Anderson Cooper in one of my favorite interviews of all time is if you’re a serial killer. In that case no snitching, he won’t call the cops if the killer lives next door, but he will move out. I fucking love Dipset. Iconic like this look.
5. Judge Judy- This woman needs NO introduction she was the highest paid television personality for decades due to her analogies, metaphors and similes. Don’t piss on her leg and tell her it’s raining. Does it look like she was born yesterday? In her courthouse, you never know who is going to get cursed out, or when. All you know is nobody is safe except the bailiff, not the plaintiff, not the defendant, and certainly not the silent witness waiting to be called on. Her rulings are final and based on emotions. I’ve seen her totally rule in favor of the wrong party, just because it’s what she felt in her soul. Don’t rub her the wrong way, she’ll dismiss your case, add money to the claim, scream at you then kick you the hell out. Overall I’ve actually learned a lot from her tbh. Never change Judge Judy, may everyone who stands before cower in fear of the unknown.
6. Cardi B- Be it Nicki Minaj, the government, Offset, the cops arresting Offset, her fans, everyone on twitter, Republicans and Republicoons alike, Cardi B gonna give it to you Okurrrr. Please note if you have beef with her it’s forever. Pulling up isn’t a problem, she will leave with a lump on her head and a missing shoe, but she gonna say what she gotta say. Period. She is a member of the Bloods, meaning she’s not only about her bag, but about that life.
7. Gossip Girl- The original version thanks. Yes they’re fictional, but they represent surviving New York schooling so well in terms of social scheming. That signature toughness starts somewhere and no one seeks vengeance like an Upper East Sider, we aren’t afraid of warfare, collateral damage and will turn if you betray us. Chuck, Blair, Nate, Serena and Lily who put her sister in jail never looking back, are tops when it comes to slaying someone verbally. It be’s like that. Being a punk is seen as weakness, if someone steps to you handle it. Real talk Blair Waldorf beats everybody else obvy.
Long story short New Yorkers, especially natives will curse you out in the blink of an eye ask any tourist, google any subway fight, come visit and piss someone off. You don’t wanna play with us deadass we’ll bring the smoke. Which one is your spirit animal? Who did I miss? Via: 50 Cents Official, Nicki Minaj Clips, Bravo Obsessed UK, Bistro Radio, Judge Judy Sheindlin, CairdiB & Gossip Girll