Flu Fighters

Typical New York City weather, leaves you to believe it’s something other than what it is. For the last few days, week even, we’ve experienced extended summer. Rather what felt like extended summer. The other night I wore a mini skirt, even though I had a leather, suede, fleece lined jacket I still managed to get sick yesterday.

All morning I’d been fighting a sore throat, a heavy head and a congested chest. Usually I bring jeans, just in case, but again it’s been humid. As a native I have no one to blame but myself.

I’d been guzzling turmeric, ginger tea mixed with honey to no avail. So I trekked the six minutes to the liquor store, which in my condition felt like 12 minutes. As soon as I purchased my Jack Daniel’s I took a swig, feeling the sweet relief of whiskey hitting my chest. This, this is what cleared me out.

Whiskey and bourbon have medicinal properties. Once upon a time doctor’s used it as such. Still to this day, they are some of the best ways to relieve and prevent a cold.

Best drink to stay warm and healthy: a hot toddy. Whiskey or bourbon, honey, lemon and hot water.

What Would Make This Day Better?

Play as hard as you work. Everything in moderation. It’s Friday, time to kick those work week blues out the door. What’s your favorite vodka brand? I prefer bourbon or whiskey, but Ketel One will do.

Standing Still

Shawn Theodore

I didn’t like where I was coming from.

My roommate was a legit psychopath. Not in the everyday misused adjective type of way, but the real deal. Reading through the list of symptoms, she hit every mark, sending a wave of chills through my body. Goosebumps made fear visible. She thrived off sex, drama and literal filth. Dirty tampons, half eaten dinners, pizza boxes, hair extensions, blow dryers, used sex toys, to be pulled off the floor and used again immediately. Let your imagination run wild. Yes that was there too.

I didn’t like where I was going.

No one would let me enhance my service skills, by allowing me to be a server. Except this place. I am so grateful for the opportunity, but this restaurant is a plantation. White men using black spaces. I can’t get through my shift without being inebriated. On top of the drinks the bartender provides, I hide bourbon in my coffee, I hide a flask in my make-up bag. It’s like I’m trying to kill myself before this place kills me. When will I be free?

You are exactly where you need to be.

Says the proverbial universe, but why am I here? Why is god punishing me? The world hates me.

I am at a complete loss, when suddenly the clouds break. Looks like we can have that picnic in the park after all. My roommate gets into legal troubles. She’s screwed over every roommate, except me. I’m her karma. I leave the plantation with reparations.

You were never stuck, you were being rerouted.

Trust the universe it’s wiser than you.