Let’s get straight to business. The annual nepo-baby report card is here. As you know, if you’re removed your grade didn’t change. Except for one family, they’ve been removed for irrelevance and will be mentioned so there’s no confusion. I started the nepo-baby drama and am the only person who can do this. Anyone else would be mauled.
Carter-Knowles: A-, Blue Ivy seems judgmental, unimpressed, and has this quiet demeanor of being above everyone, yet humble about it. Talking to Taylor Swift she was aloof af. This is what I like to see, gatekeeper energy. I forgot she’s only 13 performing with her mother at stadiums. While cousin Julez Smith watches from the audience, confused at fans flocking to him for photographs. A spitting image of his grandmother, Solange’s son stepped up his modeling game. The boy’s a natural (read Julez Smith Is Model Material).
Hadid’s: F, Gigi Hadid had the sheer audacity to debut that October Vogue cover, like it was some big to do. Bitch did the bare minimum. Bella Hadid didn’t do anything but prove she’s laundering child trafficking money through Orabella (read Bella Hadid Launders Trafficking Money). Neither of them rectified what they did to Gaza, because they’re performative. The two gained a secret sister, who seems cool, but hasn’t collected the perks of being related to them through deadbeat dad Mohamed Hadid.
Beckham’s: B+, Brooklyn Beckham is still at odds with his entire family minus baby sister Harper. Why? We’ve yet to truly find out. Did they disrespect his wife Nicola Peltz? Thinking she’d kiss Victoria Beckham’s ring as mother in law? I hope not, because he’s wrapped around his wife’s finger. Unlike Gwen Stefani, Nicola knows what she’s doing in bed, he ain’t going nowhere. Scandal for this family continued with Cruz Beckham debuting a girlfriend ten years his senior. So far we see he’s geared towards music, bold move. His mom was a Spice Girl, the pressure is on and we’re waiting. Side note: I think he should dye his hair David Beckham blond, from back in the day. As for Romeo Beckham, everyone is praising his modeling skills. After last year’s nepo report card he quit soccer, focusing on modeling full time. He was born for this.
Rinna/Hamlin: B+, I dragged Amelia Gray and Delilah Belle through the catacombs about being some of the worst, most irrelevant models I’ve ever had the misfortune to see. Gave them an F, removed them from the list for two years, because the grade was unchanging…until now. They took what I said and worked their asses off to hone their skills. They’re almost there, Delilah’s lack of confidence is showing on camera. Certifying being gorgeous isn’t enough, you have to feel it to exude it (read Hamlin Sisters Part 2).
Paltrow/Martin: B-, Apple Martin is starting to come out from her parent’s shadows. Mostly modeling. Beautiful girl, but it was nothing to write home about. The minus comes from mother Gwyneth Paltrow misusing the term punk rock, after seeing me describe my husband as such. I don’t think she knows wtf it means. Literally everything she’s described as punk rock isn’t. Irritating me.
Kravitzes: B-, Zoe Kravitz is stepping it up. Snatching brand deals, releasing films, and bounced back on the dating scene with pop star beau Harry Styles. Rumors of a romance with Austin Butler were squashed, when she was seen holding hands with Harry in France. I believe she hooked up with Butler, but the musician was more her taste.
Richards: C-, Alexandra Richards is carrying the team on her back. Spinning records for her life as a dj. Ella Richards needs to do more modeling if she’s going to model and less socializing. While she’s at it, blow our minds with different facial expressions. Thanks. The Jaggers are removed for irrelevance.
Schwarzeneggers: C, Katherine Schwarzenegger snagged a Hollywood actor and writes children’s books. Brother Patrick Schwarzenegger was a controversial topic for his role in “White Lotus.” I don’t feel his character, rich, white male, was a stretch from his reality to give accolades for his acting. He wasn’t terrible, but this was an easy portrayal.
Richies: B, I’ve looked at Nicole Richie’s jewelry collection. I think some people get by on a name, like Jade Jagger, but I would wear Nicole’s pieces. Sister Sofia Richie dropped another baby clothing capsule and it was cute. That Met Gala dress she wore by Tommy Hilfiger, chic, chic, chic.
Depps: A-, Nosferatu premiered December of 2024, truly making its rounds in 2025. The acting was solid. Love this film.
Skarsgards: A+, can’t believe it took me so long to acknowledge this family. It goes without saying why they’ve achieved this grade. I forgot they’re nepo-babies. All of them are incredible actors, good looking, and have their own niche.
Combs: C-, Nothing these kids have done has surpassed or equaled Diddy’s accomplishments. Still in his shadow for sure. Standing ten toes down on their father’s side, they live in scandal and haven’t spiraled out of control due to it. People have lost control for less, they get points for that.
Kidman/Urban: F, Sunday Rose made that atrocious runway debut. She gave us nothing and was labeled an “IT” girl. NOPE! Furthermore her parent’s divorce supersedes whatever she claims to be pursuing. A lot of talk and not nearly enough action (read Sunday Rose Isn’t A Model).
Musks: C+, Elon Musk is a nepo-baby. I want everyone to remember without his pedo father, Errol, he’d be nothing. The man is a fake genius with zero creations of his own, failed space ventures, false net worth’s for attention, ludicrous predictions that never pan out. A criminal fraud (read Elon Musk The Fake Genius & Trillionaire). Still, he gave us one of the best meme weeks in the history of the internet, exposing Donald Trump. For that we salute you (read Elon Musk Vs. Donald Trump 2).
Burrusses: B+, Riley Burruss made her reality television debut alongside musician mogul mama Kandi Burruss, on The Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Could she carry a show on her own though? The answer is a resounding YES. ABSOLUTELY loved her on Next Gen NYC, that cast was perfection. Trust I had HUGE doubts about this show, HUGE. Happy I was wrong. She had me cracking up (read Next Gen NYC: Charlie Zakkour Is Vital).
Bergen/Malle: F-, Chloe Malle took over as Vogue’s head bitch in charge. Chosen by Anna Wintour herself. A terrible mistake. This girl is basic af, she’s already made poor choices and she’s vanilla. Boring. The girl lacks creativity, I don’t care about her opinion, because why should I? And she plays it safe. Then has the sheer audacity to brag about being a nepo-baby when she has nothing to show for it (read Reality Check: Chloe Malle). An overachiever, I know she’s going to pretend this grade doesn’t bother her, except it does. She’s limpid, predictable, trite.
Trumps: F, a hot ass mess. Jeff Epstein didn’t like Donald Trump, he blew Bill “Bubba” Clinton, and Israel is blackmailing him to run OUR country. He’s a sloppy senile, walking circles in foreign lands. He’s one of the most depraved people to ever disgrace the Earth’s surface (read Bibi Netanyahu Blackmailing Donald Trump).
McCartneys: C+, I liked the outfits Stella McCartney created for Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour. Also the models she chose for her campaigns. But what else? Lackluster. Doesn’t have nearly enough going on for a fashion brand.
Rosses: A, Trace Ellis Ross is focused on being a style icon. We’ll see. Last minute, out the woodwork, brother Evan Ross beat Pam Bondi’s lying ass for photoshopping his mother and Michael Jackson. She literally blurred out his face, along with Paris and Prince Jackson’s to make them look like unidentified victims on an Epstein flight. This was premium behavior on his part. Premium. I hope they sue and collect that bag (read DOJ Photoshops Michael Jackson & Diana Ross). Thank you for clearing Michael’s name, Wakanda forever.
Carters: B+, Stumbling upon a Carter Christmas, I wanted to see what Lil Wayne’s sons were like. They made their debuts on sister Reginae Carter’s YouTube show, Hier Time. Stunned to the core by how reserved and incredibly smart they are. Lauren London’s son is surprisingly sage. The sibling dynamic had me cracking up. Like left in tears actually, because it’s clear Reginae is unhinged and completely unaware that she’s out of her mind. Something the brothers communicate cutting eyes at each often, which she seems to miss. They asked her to stop twerking, an activity she denied doing, only for a montage of her doing exactly that to roll. She made them do school during COVID, irking their souls, along with her constant horoscope references. She’s right about astrology! Leave her alone.
Baldwin-Beiber’s: C, I liked Alec and Hiliaria Baldwin’s show, because they have a funny relationship dynamic. Their daughter Carmen is gorg and likable, the baby is bad af. Niece Hailey Bieber sold Rhode for a billion dollars, which really means they inflated her net worth so she can launder money like her BFF’s (read All’s Fair When You Launder Money). Needless to say I’m not impressed by her, or her lies to compete with Rare Beauty by Selena Gomez. Do you agree with this year’s grades? Via: MSN
Updated: 1/5/2026 12:19am
