Stay real with these hilarious, framed, crotched statements. Let me tell you, I fought my mom once in my life. Wasted out of my mind. Drinking directly after class, not a single meal and continued to do so at a model agency’s holiday party. A mess. Otherwise it wouldn’t have happened. Never having experienced being drunk, my mom didn’t understand the level of inebriation I was on, and pushed me without meaning to. I went flying backwards into the tub. Affronted I wanted to know why she attacked me. Fun fact: I was at the stage of zero coordination, flying across rooms.
My friends and I were so smashed we got off the wrong train and got back on it, thinking we made our way to the uptown side. In reality we ran up one set of stairs, then down the stairs across from them, on the same side of the platform. We literally boarded a different car on the train we just exited. The next morning I woke up surrounded by a plethora of beef jerky in bed, which I don’t even eat. Being that’s it’s ultra processed. Stolen from 7/11. My friend woke up with tubes of purloined lipgloss. At least their theft made sense.
Naively I thought there would be food, like EVERY holiday party ever known to man has. The only thing available at Lavo were martini olives. Which I devoured before being cut off by the bartender. Who made me feel like a pig and got tired of refilling the jar. When they say please do not feed the models, they mean it. Which frame is your favorite? Via: Vintage Shindig
Updated: 1/7/2026 1:08am
