All’s Fair When You Launder Money

By: Saint Twenty
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Why is Kim in the middle?

Endless comments under pictures of “All’s Fair” premieres have expressed perplexity at Kim Kardashian taking center stage amongst mostly acclaimed actresses. The reality star is by no means a thespian, let alone of that caliber and magnitude and yet, she’s the “star.” Kimberly literally said, as much money as I launder for you bitches through my businesses, I’m standing in the middle. PERIOD. Yes, your favorite artists are Satanists who participate in ritual abuse, especially of children (read The Pinault’s Are Satanic Bullies). They traffic humans, emphasis on kids. Follow the Kardashian Jenner’s and you’ll see who’s getting a cut. All those inflated businesses equal untraceable bitcoin money, laundered, cleaned, turned into cold hard cash.

It all started with Mick Jagger in the 60’s (read Melanie Hamrick: The Ultimate Wannabe). He’s the kingpin. Ain’t nothing was going on in the 50’s before him, except accusations of being McCarthyist communists, poodle skirts, debates on how much ankle is too much ankle, and stay at home moms thanklessly taking care of their nuclear families, reinforcing gender roles. Satan incarnated for the counterculture of the swinging sixties, subsequently ending the Free Love movement, and bringing in the dangerous, cult birthing, and tumultuous 70’s (read Revelation 7: Altamont Stabbing). Nigga been on the scene since 1962, creating the bad boy to foil The Beatles good guys. Except he took it way too far, as the Devil does. Pay attention, or pay the price, Kali & Shiva. Via: DashVirall2, SomeLiikeItHaute & OnTheRedCarpet

Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives

By: Saint Twenty
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Blessed be, The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives has been renewed for a second season! As they’ve earned. I mean it was eight episodes of life changing perfection. First and foremost I don’t have a TikTok, I watched solely based on the unhinged Real Housewives of Salt Lake City cast. Boy was that a good call, this show is instantly addictive. So nice I watched it twice, incredulous the whole thing wasn’t in fact a fever dream. It centers around Taylor Frankie Paul, an influencer who used the social media platform to confess she’d engaged in soft swinging with other couples. Just when you think they can’t top partner swapping, the insanity literally escalates each episode. As we rejoice for being gifted this extraordinary programming, here are some things we need to keep in mind.

-Taylor Frankie Paul is out of her mind, you can see the crazy in her eyes. The chaos emanating from her screamed Gemini, a feeling I confirmed when looking up her zodiac sign. You have to ask her twice what’s all going on before accepting an invite to her house, sis has no problem luring people under false pretenses. You don’t know if you’re walking into an uncomfortable therapy session, or swinging, but she means well. Her intentions aren’t malicious. It’s giving early aughts bad girl in 2024.

-Realizing all of these women are unhinged, I decided to look up everyone’s zodiac and found an astrological cluster fuck. I’m talking multiple Gemini’s, multiple Pisces, a Taurus and a Leo. A mess. No wonder I felt not to push Layla too far, she’s a March Pisces, as is Leighton Meester look alike Mikayla. Fuck around and find out, they built different. I hope Layla gets that orgasm one day.

-Finding out Mayci is a February Pisces like me, explained why I felt we’re most alike: assuming Jen was murdered, going over to Taylor’s to squash beef with baby daddy Dakota, only to find herself in the middle of them airing their grievances, Dakota meeting her for a car ride where he says she’s self-sabotaging his relationship. This would all happen to me. The way she sat there with no one to cut eyes at as they yelled at each other…I couldn’t believe it. Topping it off is someone messaging her anonymously they had sex with Dakota by accident…I can’t. Dakota also has crazy eyes, like that baby is going to be normal or insane.

–Jen Affleck is alive and well. However she isn’t related to Ben Affleck through husband Zac after all. Could have fooled me, both have gambling addictions. Jen is also a Gemini, explaining that messy baby blessing, where she disinvites people she claimed she never invited, but did. As the breadwinner her husband better mind his business. How dare he try to remove her from Momtok! Not only is it bankrolling his casino money, but putting him through medical school. That being said we need y’all on season two asap! Let her shine, she’s a fucking star! All of them are stars.

–Whitney, Whitney, Whitney, walking around with that 50’s bob doing all that bullshit. A stubborn Taurus who looks like Adele. One of the greatest villains we’ve ever seen. She ruined multiple events Demi’s Galentine’s to start, not showing up to Mayci’s business launch and Taylor’s baby shower. After isolating herself from the group, including leaving the collective chat, she does a 180 and ruins yet another special occasion, by showing up to Mikayla’s birthday. That type of messiness takes courage. Let’s not forget she gave the second best pregnancy reveal on reality television, embedding the test into a cake she intended for her family to eat. Stevie J walking around with one is his pocket and throwing it on the table between Mimi Faust & Joseline Hernandez takes first place. Honorary shoutout to the camera crew for zooming in on the toilet paper stuck to her shoe, it screams Bravo production team level of petty.

–Fruity Pebbles is my favorite cereal, did Demi put them in her cookie for her husband to eat or…I need answers. Finding out her husband is Angie Harrington’s ex lets me know he’s out of his mind.

-I’m still processing Jessi and Demi straight up confronting Whitney for crashing Mikayla’s party. Screaming no one wants you here we don’t like you, yup Jessi’s a Gemini. Anyone who has a problem with her labia surgery needs to worry about their own vagina. It’s her body, who the fuck are you?

The Athenian Age is lit, as promised. Let Utah cook and give that state a lifetime achievement Oscar for pumping out top tier art, and quality stars. We thank you for your service. Did you watch this iconic show? Via: Secret Lives On Hulu

Updated: 10/12/2024 6:52am

Pope Lick Monster Is The Baphomet

By: Saint Twenty
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Let the record show Hulu’s Out There: Crimes Of The Paranormal came out September 24th 2024, quite literally almost two months after posting my first revelation on July 26th 2024 (read Revelation 1: Mick Jagger Is Satan). On September 19th 2024 exactly one week before the shows debut, I turned a now archived Instagram post from July 25th 2024 into the fifth revelation (read Revelation 5: Definition Of Mick Jagger’s Name). I can pull up screenshots, timestamps to prove I didn’t edit a thing after watching this show. WordPress and Meta can attest to this. What I saw in my dream is almost the same exact experience that girl had in episode three, The Pope Lick Monster.

When sis came on screen I said “Oh…she looks like she’s seen some shit.” Cut to her story of taking a night walk, knowing damn well she lives amongst cornfields and seeing a goat man hybrid eating. She described him the same way I saw him in my dream. Keep in mind I had no prior knowledge of this Kentucky creature. The Pope Lick Monster is the Baphomet, Satan, fucking Mick Jagger. There was no way I could have known the height, the black goat head, the hypnotic powers, the weapon of chose, an axe. I didn’t say a bow, or a spear, but a fucking axe. He paced around a red lit janitors closet in my dream as stated in Revelation 1. Same color as his hypnotic eyes made evident in Revelation 5.

Both she and I knew instinctively to walk away backwards, or we’d be dead (after researching why the backwards exits as it’s counterintuitive, I discovered spiritually it keeps evil entities from following you). When she said I felt human, I empathized. He’s so fucking huge and terrifying, people are mere motes of dust in comparison. This shared parallel experience with a stranger is all the consumes my mind right now. That Satanic shit ain’t worth it. What I saw forever changed me. What I experienced dating the Devil, a fraction of that soul burn…I wanted to die just to abscond the feeling. Via: Hulu

Under The Bridge Is Top Tier

By: Saint Twenty
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Did I cry at the end of this limited series? Yup. Under The Bridge is based on the true story of Reena Virk, an Indian teen murdered by her classmates after a desperate attempt to fit in. Where do I even begin? This is one of the first times I’ve watched something and distinctly detested 99.9% of the characters, I promise you. With the exception of Cam Bentland (played by Lily Gladstone). Regarding everyone else there was constant oscillation between exasperation and likability.
Reena Virk’s (played by Vritika Gupta) need to fit in at any cost was nauseating, to the point of telling the authorities her kindhearted father molested her. On top of that she’s in over her head pretending to be gang gang from the comfort of her Jehovah’s Witness household. Granted the restrictions were unbearable, her mother a zealot, you don’t start rumors about people having AIDS sans consequences. Especially girls like Josephine Bell (played by Chloe Guidry) who gloats about beating bitches up and snatching their chains. Then there’s wishy washy Dusty Pace (played by Aiyana Goodfellow) who threatened her niece, an entire child with violence. But the crème de la creme is Kelly Ellard (played by Izzy G), a privileged psychopath. Read the room Reena, these are not your friends.

White audacity permeated throughout, with Cam’s adopted family overlooking the murder due to the victim being a person of color, to completely trying to take over her case. Reporter Rebecca Godfrey (played Riley Keough) shows more sympathy for Warren Glowatski (played Javon Walton) than the victim, giving her an exploitative, innate racist vibe, made worst by the treatment of her deceased brother. Unfortunately such is the case with murders of indigenous and Indian women to this day, it’s really not okay.

Mostly disliking everyone made my own tears surprising to me. That’s how you know the acting, the plot, everything was top tier. I mean, a round of applause to everyone. The full circle Biggie moment really sent me weeping. If you haven’t watched do yourself a favor. Lily Gladstone is here to stay. Via: The New York Times & Hulu

Reality Check: The Hair Is Korean

By: Saint Twenty
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Caucasians aren’t the only people with straight hair, that’s first of all. Although they’ve forced their beauty standards on the oppressed, deeming natural black hairstyles unprofessional (until you steal it and make it fashion), your strands aren’t admire in our community. Here’s a reality check for Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month, the hair is Korean. Weaves and wigs are made from the thick, shiny, gorgeous bundles of Asian and Hispanic hair. White hair is affiliated with lice and thinness. That’s right, colored people admire the hair of other colored people. Gasp! I mean this is probably the biggest shock to the white imagination. Mind you any beauty supply store would have shown you this, a sacred place, many run by Asian people.

Unfortunately I have more bad news for caucasians. I know white washing ancient Egyptians is the goal. Completely dismissing the geopolitical events that resulted in the shift to mostly Mediterranean inhabitants today, but, but, facts are facts, especially artifacts. The wearing of wigs to serve different looks, for protective styles, as well as the products we use in our hair (coconut oil, shea butter, castor oil etc…) date back to ancient Egypt. We’re not new to this, we’re true to this. Did Oreo’s Super Bowl commercial not white wash me. That’s a statement not a question. Via: Hulu Girlfriends

Updated: 5/5/2024 1:30am


Phat Tuesday And The L.A Riots

By: Saint Twenty
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Today marks the L.A Riots 32nd anniversary, a fact I remember thanks to Sublime. For six days Los Angeles was looted and burned to the ground, amassing over one billion dollars in damages. The riots were a response to police brutality, when the officers who used excessive force on Rodney King weren’t charged. Prior to the incident Cops, a Fox Network “reality”show following police officers on duty, purposely edited the episodes to perpetuate stereotypes. That’s right folks Rupert Murdoch allowed the distorted input of racists to air every week. Rodney King shed light on the truth regarding police brutality, not the caricatures of colored people as lawless savages Murdoch displayed.

As a result of the Riots, black comedians in the hood weren’t able to showcase their talent to the right audiences. Thus Phat Tuesdays by Guy Torry was created. Every Tuesday he’d host a cast of colored comedians on the L.A Strip, allowing them to perform for industry folks and delighted audiences. It snowballed, exceeding everyone’s expectations, catapulting folks to stardom even, Kevin Hart, Martin Lawrence, and of course Dave Chappelle. Side note: O.J Simpson’s freedom was also a byproduct of the riots, a way to get even.

Endeavoring to ease the trauma of being racially profiled, murdered, viewed as disposable, they made fun of their plight. Cracking jokes is how they dealt with the pain of fearing for their lives. Going back to my initial point, Dave Chappelle isn’t transphobic (read Dave Chappelle The Equal Opportunity Icon), he treats everyone the same. That line of reasoning would make him anti-black. I furthered my point by stating Kanye West is actually transphobic (read ElDorado: Everything The Nazi’s Hated). Then what happened? A trans woman is viciously attacked at his Rolling Loud set, haven’t heard a peep from the same community that came for Chappelle. When lambasting people, do your due diligence instead of making baseless accusations and keep the same energy for those who earned it. Via: Hulu Rewind The 90’s (Reality Revolution)

Updated: 4/30/2024 11:11pm

Happy Juneteenth 2023

By: Saint Twenty
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Gynecology was created by James Marion Sims, by experimenting on black women. He purposely didn’t administer anesthesia, because he felt us inhuman. Black women don’t feel pain. Which is still seen in hospitals today, look how Serena Williams was treated. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tori Bowie’s death was preventable, but no one heard her.

I think of all my ancestors, kidnapped, sold, enslaved, wealth taken from them to make highways, with Robert Moses creating the projects for the displaced people, how they’re wealth was taken when they turned Seneca Village into Central Park, how their fingers burned picking the smallest pieces of cotton off a huge seed for hours in the hot sun, because hateful whites were too weak and lazy to work, how the African American came to be due to the mass rape of African women by white men, who created race so said children wouldn’t inherit their wealth and slavery could continue when they were no longer allowed to bring new slaves from Africa in 1808. How I was treated, even as a divine. Watch 1619 on Hulu, read Caste the origins of our discontent and understand I will show no mercy. Every Uncle Tom, every barbaric white, all aligned with them will suffer in this world and burn eternally in the next. Enjoy your time, anyone who aligned with this is no friend of mine. Y’all gonna learn. Artist: The Crown Act