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Spoiler Alert!

A little background about my relationship with reality television, I don’t know a world without it. While I’m well-versed in my viewership, I don’t watch Survivor, Big Brother, or The Bachelor. These crossover shows are how I’m introduced to those individuals. Being acquainted with a majority of The Traitors season two cast, I knew gold was struck. Magic and science are two sides of the same coin. Getting the exact right people together, with the right premise requires chemistry. Once that chemistry is perfected you’ve created an alchemical transformation, the formula for all sacred art. We did it Joe!

This season has been A1 since day 1, as expected. Where do I even begin? The way Trishelle Cannatella has been inaccurate every single time, especially about Peppermint, boggles the mind. Each week she’s been loud and wrong, banishing faithful after faithful. Under her leadership not one traitor was caught until episode six. Why anyone listened to her this long is beyond me. Amnesia is the only explanation. Nothing she said about Larsa Pippen as a traitor made any sense, yet they continued letting her dictate the eliminations, completely forgetting her resume of fallacies. In all fairness when Peppermint went into self-destruct mode, accidentally confirming Trishelle’s belief that she’s a traitor, I was gobsmacked. On one hand I felt bad, on the other hand it was funny af. Like how? Some people simply crumble under the pressure of accusations, Phaedra Parks is not one of them.

Dramatic irony, we know Phaedra, Pavarti and Dan Gheesling are the killers. They’ve played an amazing game, offing the smartest players asap. Johnny Bananas and Marcus Jordan would’ve 110% figured them out. I’ve watched Bananas since his debut on The Real World, but was not expecting Marcus Jordan to be that damn intelligent. He was on it. His murder causing girlfriend Larsa to completely spiral. On a war path she makes the mistake of coming for CT (Chris Tamburello), with his fine ass and she too is banished. Another faithful gone. Bringing us to episode six.

Sick of defeat faithfuls Peter Weber and Bergie (I only watch Love Island UK) devise a plan, trapping 2/3 of the traitors. Outsmarted Dan Gheesling scrambles to survive banishment, throwing Phaedra under the bus for literally no reason. Mind you Phaedra warned both Dan and Pavarti last week not to play with her. Presumptuous Dan continues to judge non gamers as strategically inferior, especially the housewives. His creepy demeanor, cocksure attitude and prejudice left me praying for his elimination. Little did I know it would be one of the most historical drags in the history of reality television. While Pavarti took heed of Phaedra’s warning, Dan made a big mistake, huge. First off a housewife will curse you out, second he forgot Phaedra is an entire attorney, but boyyyyy did she remind him.
Dan sat at that round table with 30 inches of pristine virgin Peruvian bundles, got gathered, cleared and dragged by one Miss Phaedra Parks, leaving that banishment table bald headed, no edges. His tracks are on the floor Alice. I mean, she left my mouth agape. Phadrea read him to filth, with her eyes barely open. He couldn’t even collect his thoughts. People laughed at him she beat his ass so bad. For Kate Chastain to see Dan gasping for air, only to roundhouse kick him in Phaedra’s defense, was glorious. Will always love that bitch.

This episode, like every episode was unfiltered art. Peter Weber who I paid no attention to prior, became sexy as hell out of the woodwork. This man wanted blood, he was not going another week without getting a traitor. I mean everything was chef’s kiss, John Bercow’s intense speech, Pavarti becoming completely unhinged by Pilot Pete, Alan Cumming’s outfits coupled with his mind games, the miracle of Sheree Whitefield winning the only shield. You could cut the tension in that castle with a knife. All of it left me aroused. If you aren’t watching it’s your loss. Round of applause to every single person. Just when I didn’t know how I’d survive my RHOSLC withdrawal, the Athenian age. Via: Dada By Grace