Being Safe Is My Priority

After my last experience safety is literally my love language. Being attacked by someone who claims to love you in the most malicious way has altered what I seek in a relationship significantly. On one hand I’m too traumatized to want one, I’m literally scared of being abused again and just want my freedom. On the other hand I just want to feel safe and am dying to find my twin to be it, plus true love is all I want. Seeing as I get confused, that I’m having episodes, having the universe use my vacation as the confirmation takes away a lot of stress. I have never been scared of the person I was dating until Mick Jagger. I never want to see him again, or speak to him again, putting him away for the remainder of his years is fated. When he dies the world will be a safer place. He hasn’t just groomed women to see his abuse and torture as acceptable, he’s groomed the world. The level of cruelty he possess knows no end. Ronnie Wood is also a domestic abuser and I’ll be sharing it later, no wonder he’s a spineless follower. Both of them including Genc (I never even dated you fucking freak) & Binn Jakupi will pay. These men are boys who abuse women and make the world unsafe for us to be humans with our own desires. That ends with me. Which of these is most important to you? Via: Doodled Wellness

Trauma Changes You Biologically

Epigenetically unhealed trauma passes down through generations. Abuse is not a joke, especially when people intentionally inflict it like Mick Jagger, Genc Jakupi and Binn Jakupi. I could add a lot of people who aided in abusing me to this list, like the Kardashian Jenner West coven and friends, exposing all of you publicly is all I need to contribute. What the universe has planned is huge, all I have to do is sit back and watch. The way you all fall with them, the deaths, the misfortune, it’s crazy. No survivors, the power is going back to the public, everyone is going to learn their humbled place before hell.

Until I started having my crippling episodes I didn’t fully comprehend the lack of control I’d have, it’s scary. I become a different person, trying to stop spiraling, trying to survive, looking for safety. This is why I’ve decided to press charges against Mick, the fact that he thinks it’s okay to torture other human beings and call it love. To groom people to his abuse, he belongs behind bars. It’s not fair I’ve been inflicted with a disorder, I intend to hold everyone accountable and be compensated. I ignored the red flags due to a toxic upbringing, which is why speaking up for me is hard sometimes. I don’t want to hurt other people. I worked hard to heal from family trauma and now I have to heal from this. I’m optimistic and if you’re going through trauma you should be too. We’re all going to get through this, to the best of our ability. It’s not your fault, believe in yourself and keep pushing forward. You deserve a happy ending. In what ways does your trauma affect you? How you see the world? How you interact with others? Your love life? Your parenting? Via: Alex March Energy

Therapy Went Well

To think I almost bailed, but I had really bad PTSD the day before. Writing that I’m a victim of domestic violence, owning that as part of my identity, made me feel ashamed. I completely broke down. It was crippling. I had therapy, which made me feel tons better, because the therapist told me two harrowing stories. She also told me PTSD can go away forever (it happened for her), after I found out on Google that it can be permanent. I felt damaged. How did this happen to me? How could I let it. She told me part of healing is standing up to what’s causing it. So I have and will continue to stand up for myself, facing my abusers.

There is nothing wrong with me. One day I won’t feel this way. I realize I’ve had chronic PTSD for years. Part of why I almost bailed on therapy is due to the trust issues it’s caused me. It’s not fair that I see life through these lenses. I am hopeful I will get better and vacation will help with that. If you’re facing something traumatic you aren’t alone, or broken and therapy helps. Via: Symbolic Magic Art

Things Fran Fine Taught Me

Freaking out over the amount of things taught to me by Fran Drescher. The Nanny coming to HBO Max is a gift, rewatching the episodes I realized Nanny Fine raised me. Far more than just one of my idols, or style icons, some of my behavior and beliefs also stem from her. Allow me to expound.

Thigh high heeled boots for work: I was the only one at Miss Lily’s who wore heels, including over, or thigh high boots. I never noticed it until someone told me they heard me before seeing me, because everyone else wore sneakers. A look is a look. Where did I get it from? Fran Fine.

Tights: winter wear is no problem, simply add tights, or leggings to my impossibly short skirts. I live by this. Got it from Fran.

Saying meanwhile: literally got it from Sylvia and Fran Fine. Cannot believe how often they say it, nor how often I say it due to them.

Wait on love: Oh, Mr.Sheffield (one of my great impersonations)! Fran taught me true love requires patience. She waited for that man, her soulmate, one true love, for five entire years. I mean, need I say more…

Brothers: aren’t off limits. I didn’t date either Jakupi brother, but boy did they want to date me. Genc Jakupi would be Maxwell Sheffield, Binn Jakupi would be Nigel. Fran started dating Nigel post Max taking back his I love you. I led Binn on by accident, drunkenly, when Genc started dating Madalina Ghenea. He dumped her fearing Binn & I becoming a thing. Just saw this episode the other night, had to close my gaping mouth!

Respect your idols: the amount of references and cameos made by stars are astounding, from Ray Charles to Dame Elizabeth Taylor. Fran taught me Barbra Streisand walks on water. Revere the greats. Know your iconography.

Tramp or old white woman: I’ve been told I dress like both. I thought my Upper East Side upbringing was the reason for the latter, until I saw Yetta. Fran’s grandmother was wearing a fit I wanted, from the bright sparkly sweater to the jewelry, eureka!

Sexual liberation: be it Yetta, or Fran, being a slut is a-okay. Everyone needs that phase in my opinion, but hey to each their own.

Colorful clothes: the number of times I’ve been asked if I’m from the U.K due to my colorful clothing? Copious. It’s very rare I’m donning all black, I’m not that type of New Yorker. Fran said ROYGBIV, so I did.

Fran Drescher, you powerful Romanian, benevolent witch, I wouldn’t be me without you. I’m floored by the hand you had in my breeding. God bless you. My children will also watch The Nanny. Love you to pieces, you also taught me not to take myself too seriously. An icon, a legend, a queen. Artist: Tori Sarkis

Jack James, Me, The Beatles And The Stones

Before I go into why the Woods are my favorite Stones family (in tomorrow’s article), restoring my faith in the band, I must tell this one. After winning my lawsuit against Miss Lily’s I got a part-time gig at a pizza place in Park Slope, Amorina. I was the phone slash delivery girl, organizing all the take-out and pick up orders. The staff like the restaurant was small, and run by an insane woman named Ellen. Italian, hot tempered, miserable (cuckquean) and out of her mind. This bitch woman literally held my last check of $500 hostage after I quit. Mind you, I left due to an underserving tirade, which she was known to do. Her own daughter commented her mom was off. She’d just snap out of nowhere, then act like everything was normal. As she’s refusing to give me my money, I’m making plans to attend my missing friend Robbie’s memorial. When I started the job he disappeared, causing me to leave in tears one shift. She’d been with me through this traumatic ordeal and didn’t give af. I had to pull up to her restaurant TWICE to get my money. Unhinged. At least she apologized to the staff after I read her ass for being bogus af.

This is where I met Jack James, a beautiful, tall, chiseled musician/model hailing from Texas. He loves Elvira, made me laugh until I cried, and like myself is a classic rock whore. We were kool and the gang until we started reppin our sets. A rivalry older than Bloods VS. Crips-The Beatles or The Stones, which is the better band? He barely let me speak, making his opinion fact before storming off. An attack akin to stepping on someone’s motherfucking kicks. Indignant was an understatement! Affronted I harbored this resentment until I got him back for his Harry Styles boa dig (a slight tiff that turned into a WMag social media post, with designer Marc Jacobs inserting himself). I never said I was above it, I’m petty. Being a Stones fan is a lifestyle. In my eyes he came for my entire existence! The Rolling Stones influenced me more than anyone, ever. Without them I’d literally be dead. Their music was the only thing that kept me alive my first year at Emerson College. Deep in the throes of addiction, nothing but cocaine, coffee, and cigarettes as sustenance, I lived on the verge of two worlds. I became skeletal in frame, going from a Double D to a D (boob weight never regained); my friends remarked I was on a different drug every time they saw me. My friends told me verbatim I was going to die. It was that bad, I just kept cutting straws, snorting lines and doing me. While the Stones had always been my everything, it was that year I needed them most. Just one more song to keep me going. My ringtone was Cocksucker Blues (the tour rehearsal version), that’s how dependent I was on the music.

Don’t get me wrong I fucking love The Beatles, LOVE. Had Jack let me expound my answer would have been this: you can’t have one without the other, it’s symbiotic. One’s rooted in pop, the other in blues, yet they’re both rock bands. The Beatles who invented albums and music videos (easily the most musically innovative band of all time) sing about what they wish the world to be, The Stones sing about it’s actualities (both groups have range, this is the same generalization of you can bring the Beatles home to your parents, not the Stones). For those using sales as a determinate, name one Stones song you can play for children? I was singing Yesterday in elementary school. The Stones have more soul, I can dance to their music, it’s hood relatable for the ignorant who think rock is white people music (black people created rock n roll), they’ve always credited black people, they created the template for the musicians lifestyle (sex, drugs, rock n roll), they created the “bad boy,” they broke gender, fashion, and race barriers/norms, challenging the status quo at every turn, changing the cultural landscape. The Stones dressed in drag when it was illegal, influencing everyone from the Chili Peppers to Nirvana to do so. I’m a revolutionary, because The Rolling Stones made me one. But, but, they need The Beatles, it’s the Yin to their Yang. You can’t have one without the other, nor do we want to. It’s the perfect musical balance.

Cut to now and gorgeous Jack is literally in a band with Sean Lennon’s wife Charlotte Kemp Muhl, and I dated Mick Jagger. You can’t make this shit up. You truly, genuinely can’t. So next time Naomi Campbell decides to lie for two white men appropriating our Caribbean culture for profit (Genc and Binn Jakupi), before Georgia May Jagger, her equally idiotic siblings and affiliates make assumptions (based on race), do make sure it’s someone who isn’t well connected. Should I continue on how many people grew up with me, displaying you’re liars and racists or…? Who did Melanie Hamrick know before raping Mick & murdering L’Wren Scott? Exactly. Jack, Daddy, are we the guardians of rock n roll? FYI he also loves the Rolling Stones, don’t come for him. Via: Jack James Busa Insta, Uni_Loonies & Riley And John

Karma Alway’s Comes Featuring Miss Lily’s

Let’s talk about karma and how it always works in my favor, the longer it takes the worse it will be. One hundred percent Naomi helped Epstein, after my dealings with her helping white men do horrible things to women, said woman being me. I idolized her and didn’t want to believe she was a madame or trafficker, but true colors are true colors. When my friend told me rumors of her wealth I looked into it, wondering how she was only around $10 million shy of Tyra Banks. Tyra who has created shows, executive produced, written books, started businesses, has hosting gigs from her own shows to others out the wazoo, besides the modeling. Suddenly I came across Naomi’s perfumes. I’ve never heard of them, nor of anybody using them, EVER. It don’t add up. Pieces are missing like her edges.

I sued Miss Lily’s got my money and we both agreed on confidentiality, except Binn & Genc Jakupi breached it every chance they got, forcing me to make my social media public. To defend myself. Five years total they harassed me, when I told their stories here they tried to get me to remove it, otherwise they’d take legal action. I had mountains of evidence, but stumbling upon this picture, directly linking Naomi to Miss Lily’s, who she lied on me for, telling people I was a call girl (of course she sticks close to home), amongst other things, I won. I thought Lee Daniel’s was Lenny Kravitz’s assistant, as told in: Genc Jakupi, Naomi Campbell & Jordan Barrett https://sainttwenty.com/2021/10/10/genc-jakupi-naomi-campbell-jordan-barrett-2-2/. NOW I got the money and can tell my stories ALL I WANT and there’s nothing they can do about it. I also have more power than they do. KARMA always comes. Play with me. Via: Lee Daniel’s

Keep Going It Will All Pass

Despite the eternal drama the cards tell me this is a blessing in disguise; God has a plan and it’s all happening for a higher purpose. I can’t wait until it’s over, this is a life I was forced into to defend myself against false narratives. This is a good reminder to keep going it will all pass, justice will be served. Via: The Cute Feminist