Being Safe Is My Priority

By: Saint Twenty
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After my last experience safety is literally my love language. Being attacked by someone who claims to love you in the most malicious way has altered what I seek in a relationship significantly. On one hand I’m too traumatized to want one, I’m literally scared of being abused again and just want my freedom. On the other hand I just want to feel safe and am dying to find my twin to be it, plus true love is all I want. Seeing as I get confused, that I’m having episodes, having the universe use my vacation as the confirmation takes away a lot of stress. I have never been scared of the person I was dating until Mick Jagger. I never want to see him again, or speak to him again, putting him away for the remainder of his years is fated. When he dies the world will be a safer place. He hasn’t just groomed women to see his abuse and torture as acceptable, he’s groomed the world. The level of cruelty he possess knows no end. Ronnie Wood is also a domestic abuser and I’ll be sharing it later, no wonder he’s a spineless follower. Both of them including Genc (I never even dated you fucking freak) & Binn Jakupi will pay. These men are boys who abuse women and make the world unsafe for us to be humans with our own desires. That ends with me. Which of these is most important to you? Via: Doodled Wellness

Trauma Changes You Biologically

By: Saint Twenty
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Epigenetically unhealed trauma passes down through generations. Abuse is not a joke, especially when people intentionally inflict it like Mick Jagger, Genc Jakupi and Binn Jakupi. I could add a lot of people who aided in abusing me to this list, like the Kardashian Jenner West coven and friends, exposing all of you publicly is all I need to contribute. What the universe has planned is huge, all I have to do is sit back and watch. The way you all fall with them, the deaths, the misfortune, it’s crazy. No survivors, the power is going back to the public, everyone is going to learn their humbled place before hell.

Until I started having my crippling episodes I didn’t fully comprehend the lack of control I’d have, it’s scary. I become a different person, trying to stop spiraling, trying to survive, looking for safety. This is why I’ve decided to press charges against Mick, the fact that he thinks it’s okay to torture other human beings and call it love. To groom people to his abuse, he belongs behind bars. It’s not fair I’ve been inflicted with a disorder, I intend to hold everyone accountable and be compensated. I ignored the red flags due to a toxic upbringing, which is why speaking up for me is hard sometimes. I don’t want to hurt other people. I worked hard to heal from family trauma and now I have to heal from this. I’m optimistic and if you’re going through trauma you should be too. We’re all going to get through this, to the best of our ability. It’s not your fault, believe in yourself and keep pushing forward. You deserve a happy ending. In what ways does your trauma affect you? How you see the world? How you interact with others? Your love life? Your parenting? Via: Alex March Energy

Cat Book Titles

By: Saint Twenty
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The accuracy. Jagger my cat is all of these things, she’s so smart people say she’s human. I would say my most embarrassing moment is picking her up from the vet post surgery. A literal professional opinion, “She’s a bit crazy and very dramatic.” This is why despite her beauty, she’s a gorgeous cat and a runt (meaning she looks like a kitten not an adult, although she’s 8), Jagger has no modeling future. She acts like you’re kidnapping her every time you lift her up, meowing, unless she wants something from you. She’s a diva and a con artist. Yet her biggest crime is being a Gemini, one day she’s sweet, the next she’s sour. Often I wonder if naming her something else would have changed her personality. She’s hilarious though, which only encourages her and she’s a hero. When I lived in that apartment Genc Jakupi set up, one of my roommate spies passed out in the hallway, she kept making a scene until I figured it out. This nigga was half out the front door of the building, lucky he wasn’t robbed. Which piece is your favorite? Artist: St.AfterCigs

Celebrate Your Personal Milestones

By: Saint Twenty
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Originally I planned how my life would be, to a tee. A fraction of it happened the way I wanted, at some point I felt so behind missing the milestones I’d set. Maybe I should have stayed in marketing, or chosen law, not the arts, and entrepreneurship. Cut to now after cleansing myself of whatever my stepdad did amongst other things, life is going better than expected. I’m a goddess, queen of witches, at 33 I’m going to be a multi-millionaire suing my ex, all the hundreds of millions I walked away from in Mick Jagger’s will came back to me in a lawsuit I’ll be launching against a multi-billionaire (who facilitated two years of abuse amongst many other things I documented), I solved a black magic murder, I K.O-ed several satanist covens, I’m influential, I dated my idol etc…
Mind you this is after multiple colleges, extreme domestic violence, being bullied, being lied on, being attacked, being hexed, being homeless and couch surfing due to said hex, “friends” and family kicking me when I’m down, praying I stay down, wrongly arrested twice, a failed business due to a racist investor, being stalked for half a decade by Genc Jakupi, sexism etc…

My point being let life surprise you, have faith and be open to miracles, co-create, be a good person. Karma is real, the almighty GOD is real and many, many times the only support I had. An ex friend model agent use to run his mouth, like the lying narcissist he is. Saying I’m just a restaurant girl, going couch to couch, telling tall tales about me. No wonder he’s never been in a relationship in the entirety of his life. Funny thing is he did the same to LaQuan Smith, who invited him to his first show. I told him to go. He refused calling LaQuan a loser who isn’t even in the main area for Fashion Week. An artist myself I said, you never know he could be successful. Getting this far is a big deal. URGED him to go. He laughed it off. Sure enough I was right. He became HUGE off that show.

A user, he hit LaQuan up to try to be his boyfriend after rejecting him, using him only to hook up and calling him ugly. Now he looks idiotic again, since I’m amassing wealth and affluence he can only dream of. Also working at restaurants I met everyone he wishes he could, most artists and entrepreneurs do, due to the pay and flexible schedule. Karma.
Shout out to Trecey Cunningham a mutual friend and agent for always telling me I’m major, always believing in me and spotting me in times I had nothing, or just cause. Provincial bitches never understand visionaries, don’t let them deter you, or instill doubt. Go your own way and be grateful for your personal milestones big, or small. What are they? List ten things. Via: By Maria Andrew

Melanie Hamrick Isn’t Sexy Like Me

By: Saint Twenty
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No wonder Mick Jagger doesn’t want to let me go I’m hot, glamorous, stylish, got body, wedgie free and well connected. For those of you not caught up Mick Jagger and I met at Miss Lily’s in 2016. He’s been searching for me since before that murder rape baby was born. After writing happy birthday on his instagram post in 2020, his personal assistant made a page to contact me. We started dating in the beginning of August, after he assured me he wasn’t with Melanie ugly Hamrick. Not only that, but he told me she’s evil and he wanted me to take care of it. His kids forced her back into his life (read: Single White FeMel(anie Hamrick). However I didn’t care, being involved in my own celebrity drama with the Kardashian Jenner West coven and co (read: Why The Kardashian Jenner West Drama Started). Also she’s basic, I had zero interest in her. Figuring he was bereaved and settled with anyone after L’Wren Scott’s death. Until L’Wren Scott came to me in June 2021 showing me how she died (read: Melanie Hamrick And The Full Moon). Melanie Hamrick and her coven black magicked her into killing herself, L’Wren came to me because Melanie was going to do the same to his kids. Then him. She gave him his heart problem. Her murder rape baby was going to inherit the fortune.

As queen of witches I took her powers away, as Athena I found all the evidence of her deal with the devil, obsession with L’Wren (who she stalked for years), by connecting to her energy. Her plans were to be like Misty Copeland & Prince, except her career didn’t take off (read: Misty Copeland Vs. Melanie Hamrick: The Difference). I then found she was stalking me, and got her to incriminate herself after promising Nicole Kidman I’d make her pay (read: Mood: Melanie Hamrick Is Going To Jail). She was friends with Scott for 25 years, too distraught to comment on her passing. I also promised L’wren justice.

Melanie who couldn’t sue me for defamation, was so desperate to cover up her murder rape crime she committed perjury, endeavoring to get the evidence removed. As a goddess I’m prescient and set her up. I never messaged Melanie on anything but troll accounts she was stalking and harassing me on. Therefore she submitted false evidence, a felony. Now corrupt Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg who helped her commit this crime knowingly, is going down with her (read: Alvin Bragg’s Downfall Is Melanie Hamrick). I’m suing both of them and putting them in jail. Alvin Bragg knew she was going to rape me (read: Melanie Hamrick Is In Love With Me), like she did Mick, I tagged him in the post (read: Melanie Hamrick Is A Black Magician). He obstructed Justice and violated my civil rights over and over. Melanie was also stalking Noor, Mick’s other ex.

Below you’ll find messages between Mick and me. I refused to go on tour after the pandemic, or continue to be with him due to his kids. They racially profiled me, they’re mediocre, dumb, entitled and antagonistic, gross people. I saved their lives. White trash.
Mick and I at one point were happy. Naomi Campbell lied to everyone on behalf of Genc Jakupi, my ex boss telling them I was a call girl (read:Genc Jakupi, Naomi Campbell & Jordan Barrett (1/2) & Genc Jakupi, Naomi Campbell & Jordan Barrett (2/2). That I was older than I pretend. That I didn’t grow up on the Upper East Side. Genc left me alone after half a decade of abuse when Mick told him we’re dating. After he tried to set me up for unemployment fraud (read: Karma Alway’s Comes Featuring Miss Lily’s).

Mick & I could have astral sex, that’s part of why I thought him my twin. He wished me happy Mother’s Day, and rewrote his will for me, our unborn children and Lucas Jagger. He kicked his other kids out of the will. Melanie inherits NOTHING, since I left Lucas gets it all (read: Melanie Hamrick Inherits NOTHING). He doesn’t want Melanie, who has no talent, isn’t beautiful so she has no career, her face is deformed, she has no connections, she can’t get a suitor without black magic rape and let her obsession, love for me, be her downfall. It was also fated. Mick is superficial he would never choose her. Especially over L’wren.

Mick two was the new number he contacted me on. He’s blocked on both numbers and Instagram. When he saw I really put the lawsuit papers in he got quiet. This downfall thanks to deformed Melanie is a liability, which is why Rupert Murdoch is divorcing Jerry Hall. The Jagger’s didn’t listen so now they fall. As you can see April 2022 he begged to have me back. He only pretended with Melanie thinking it would keep her out of jail, because he doesn’t want that murder rape baby. Too bad the devil’s come to collect. Via: Daily Mail

A Twenty Dollar Lesson

By: Saint Twenty
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Blessed to have plummeted into drug addiction at a young age, instead of as an adult. Have you ever lost your mind? Been on the brink of death? Descended into madness? I have. Had it been later in life I’d have more to lose and wouldn’t be as wise, or street smart. For instance Kiki, this sloppy girl with an enormous, gelatinous ass had no idea what she was doing. Older than me, she’d never seen cocaine until she was an adult, believing herself a badass for doing it.
Kiki wasn’t cute, her dreads smelled nice, but were raggedy and thanks to Genc Jakupi she was obsessed with me. Despite having spread her legs the one time, before I arrived, he loved me not her. FYI this girl stole from the tip pool, was a hater to the actual pretty girls and was not well liked, or kind.

Both standing at 5’9 (she made someone measure us back to back) she constantly compared herself to me, once remarking that my torso was longer than hers, wishing for my body proportions. True. I was also a fraction of her size, better dressed, bigger boobs and better looking. She loathed that I was stick skinny with a big ass, she also commented on my upbringing and diction an uncomfortable amount. Still it was us against them, we spotted each other when stealing drinks, lied to management, and eventually partied together. Kiki hated me, admired me, respected me…it was a complicated relationship. When I left she was one of 8 people to follow, you didn’t have to love, or like me, but even the people jealous of me respected me. I ran that place properly is why.
One day Kiki and I split a gram. I watched her tables while she went outside to meet the dealer. Afterward we bee-lined to my model agent friends house in Williamsburg, then Freehold, doing key bumps in the photo booth. Here’s where she made a critical mistake:
The night ended and she told me to save the coke…

Amateur hour. She had an outline of my narcotics history mind you.
As soon as she let me leave without taking her share, I knew she was new to this, not true to this.
The next day, Saturday, my day off, she messaged me to meet her at Miss Lily’s “with the goodies.”
I didn’t respond. Devoured the bag is an understatement. By the time I received her message I was on a bender with my roommate. Not only did Dani help me finish that bag, we polished off one she had, and were on our way to my model agent friends apartment for more. P.s that night was MAJOR.

Sunday, our next shift together, I handed her $20 bucks.
“What’s this for?”
I simply replied “It’s gone. It’s all gone.” Then she understood.
I didn’t apologize, nor did she expect me to. Kiki knew it was her fault. Never, ever, leave your share, especially with a connoisseur. You either take your half, or get your money asap. Period ma.
Now I’m free of addiction, as well as recreational use. Talking about bring the goodies, that sh*t was gone with the wind. I have zero regrets. If you’re still struggling I believe in you, it may take time, but you’ll make it through. Artist: Thom Minnick Art

Self Love Is Sane

By: Saint Twenty
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Me walking away from countless rich men, because they don’t respect me. Wealthy men for me are a dime a dozen, I don’t care about that. Chris Evans thought he could exploit me, bitch please. Despite my distress he kept asking me about himself. “Have you seen my films?” “Which one of my movies is your favorite?” in rapid succession for days. Nigga I don’t follow you as an actor, I have zero interest in your work indefinitely. As I stated before I never got the hype, he was nice to me in my dreams and his relationship with his mom made me believe he respects women. WRONG. No wonder you’re alone. Always respect yourself, karma will handle the rest, as you’re about to see. Via: 50Shades.Of.Goodvibes

Storing It Gets Heavy, Speak Up!

By: Saint Twenty
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Since childhood I’ve had trouble using my voice if it means protecting others. Even if they were bad to me. I didn’t want to upset anyone, ruin families, friendships, careers. I thought this toxic trait was dismantled, but it’s not. This lesson was necessary, I never put myself first. These people don’t deserve protection, I DO. They don’t give af about my needs, why should I care about their’s? That’s done now. The therapist said stand up to what’s causing this. I’m not ruining their lives, they are, by being predators, racist, bullies, sexist, complicit…I cannot wait until this is over, so I can be alone, go on vacation. Always taking care of someone else, always saving people. People put me on the back burner, because I put me on the back burner.

True colors is what I’ve seen. My objective in therapy is to get over my PTSD, mainly my concern this will happen again. For years now I’ve been trapped, no one should feel this way. No one’s going to steal my joy, replacing it with trauma. May you all burn in hell, but before you go I’ll give you memorable moments. You will all rue the day that you fucked with me, or aligned against me. Good luck. Athena. Are you standing up for yourself, or storing it? Where does it stem from? Artist: Sky Banyes

Therapy Went Well

By: Saint Twenty
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To think I almost bailed, but I had really bad PTSD the day before. Writing that I’m a victim of domestic violence, owning that as part of my identity, made me feel ashamed. I completely broke down. It was crippling. I had therapy, which made me feel tons better, because the therapist told me two harrowing stories. She also told me PTSD can go away forever (it happened for her), after I found out on Google that it can be permanent. I felt damaged. How did this happen to me? How could I let it. She told me part of healing is standing up to what’s causing it. So I have and will continue to stand up for myself, facing my abusers.

There is nothing wrong with me. One day I won’t feel this way. I realize I’ve had chronic PTSD for years. Part of why I almost bailed on therapy is due to the trust issues it’s caused me. It’s not fair that I see life through these lenses. I am hopeful I will get better and vacation will help with that. If you’re facing something traumatic you aren’t alone, or broken and therapy helps. Via: Symbolic Magic Art

Things Fran Fine Taught Me

By: Saint Twenty
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Freaking out over the amount of things taught to me by Fran Drescher. The Nanny coming to HBO Max is a gift, rewatching the episodes I realized Nanny Fine raised me. Far more than just one of my idols, or style icons, some of my behavior and beliefs also stem from her. Allow me to expound.

Thigh high heeled boots for work: I was the only one at Miss Lily’s who wore heels, including over, or thigh high boots. I never noticed it until someone told me they heard me before seeing me, because everyone else wore sneakers. A look is a look. Where did I get it from? Fran Fine.

Tights: winter wear is no problem, simply add tights, or leggings to my impossibly short skirts. I live by this. Got it from Fran.

Saying meanwhile: literally got it from Sylvia and Fran Fine. Cannot believe how often they say it, nor how often I say it due to them.

Wait on love: Oh, Mr.Sheffield (one of my great impersonations)! Fran taught me true love requires patience. She waited for that man, her soulmate, one true love, for five entire years. I mean, need I say more…

Brothers: aren’t off limits. I didn’t date either Jakupi brother, but boy did they want to date me. Genc Jakupi would be Maxwell Sheffield, Binn Jakupi would be Nigel. Fran started dating Nigel post Max taking back his I love you. I led Binn on by accident, drunkenly, when Genc started dating Madalina Ghenea. He dumped her fearing Binn & I becoming a thing. Just saw this episode the other night, had to close my gaping mouth!

Respect your idols: the amount of references and cameos made by stars are astounding, from Ray Charles to Dame Elizabeth Taylor. Fran taught me Barbra Streisand walks on water. Revere the greats. Know your iconography.

Tramp or old white woman: I’ve been told I dress like both. I thought my Upper East Side upbringing was the reason for the latter, until I saw Yetta. Fran’s grandmother was wearing a fit I wanted, from the bright sparkly sweater to the jewelry, eureka!

Sexual liberation: be it Yetta, or Fran, being a slut is a-okay. Everyone needs that phase in my opinion, but hey to each their own.

Colorful clothes: the number of times I’ve been asked if I’m from the U.K due to my colorful clothing? Copious. It’s very rare I’m donning all black, I’m not that type of New Yorker. Fran said ROYGBIV, so I did.

Fran Drescher, you powerful Romanian, benevolent witch, I wouldn’t be me without you. I’m floored by the hand you had in my breeding. God bless you. My children will also watch The Nanny. Love you to pieces, you also taught me not to take myself too seriously. An icon, a legend, a queen. Artist: Tori Sarkis