Kelly Rowland And Lala Anthony Are Trash

When I saw Kelly Rowland I freaked the Fuck out. I lovedddddd her, but the rules at Miss Lily’s were clear: NO FAN GIRLING! Meaning treat celebrities like every other guest. Allow them their privacy, don’t scream, don’t ask for autographs, don’t take pictures etc…thems the rules and if you were caught breaking them you’d get reprimanded. So I stayed as calm as possible, coming off apathetic when interacting with her. However, at every possible nook, cranny, service station, I was losing my shit! This was a childhood idol, a chocolate queen, her body was bomb, I liked her better than Beyoncé growing up (when in Destiny’s Child) plus unlike B she could act. Shade all the way, I loved Carmen The Hip Hopera (that soundtrack was lit “You tryna act like I’m not a cop, you can bring the cuffs if you would like to if that’s your style”…let me download that right now), but that’s as good as it gets for her. Jennifer Hudson was Dream Girls, period.

Kelly came in with Lala Anthony, her son, and Lala’s cousin, Po (who I loved when Lala had that show), we gave them two tables, instead of the one they all fit at. I tried not to stare and drool when looking at Kelly, biting my tongue multiple times to keep my cool. At one point I almost said fuck it, telling my peers I think she’s getting upset I’m pretending she’s not major! They reminded me to follow the rules despite my instincts, so I did.

It started off a mess, they wanted ackee and salt fish (add dumplings, the gray ones, with some steamed okra and you have my favorite Caribbean meal). This was a weekday, that dish is strictly brunch. Meaning it’s only prepped for the weekend, Chef Andre (two time Chopped champion) told me NO. Persistent as always I groveled, begged, this was Kelly Rowland, please oh please. Side note I’m a really good beggar, everyone’s told me that since middle school, I turn my big doe eyes all sad and large, I pout, I plead, works like a charm. Chef Andre relents, duh, my talent is top tier. After going back and forth, because Lala wouldn’t take no for an answer the first hundred times, I tell them the good news.
“He’ll do it, but it’ll take half an hour.”
Meals have to be prepped based on time of day and type of service. They didn’t just have it lying in wait. After 15 minutes minimum, I kid you not, taking time away from my other tables, Lala says never-mind.
”But he’s already started it,” I inform her, explaining everything. She didn’t give af, she made me go back and forth a million times, just to be difficult. Then, then, Kelly pays.

The bill totaled $250, the standard 20% would be a $50 tip. Me being me, people usually left 22%-25% since I’m honestly an exceptional server. Miss Lily’s was my first serving job, prior I worked for Danny Meyer as a server assistant, possessing a fine dining hospitality background where the others had not. I brought in the most tip money, the managers used it to fuel the staff, mentioning it at pre-shifts. That’s why everyone quit when I left. Everywhere I’ve gone after I always brought in the most tip, people have left me more than half the bill. Nope not Kelly, she left me $20, making sure to say bye have a good one, before I saw the receipt. Mind you she used a fucking black card (her hands are soft af btw), to leave less than 10 %! A fucking horrific, high maintenance bitch. Tacky too. Everyone was pissed. Apparently Beyoncé liked everyone acting normal and tipped beyond normal. Like a legendary one, spoken about years later. I wasn’t there when Beyonce came, but a lot of the others on the floor that night were and expected the same from Kelly.

Long story short, she’s a terrible person, just like Lala. I’m not taking advice from an Uncle Tom defending another one. I have Chris Brown demonic ass (he literally has a demon attached to him) on a troll account. None of these people change, they support disgusting behavior, I have over two years plus proof of it. Then they lie pretending they didn’t know about Harvey Weinstein and Jeff Epstein, most of them are full of shit. That’s why I’m here. Times up. The devil always come to collect, you always reap what you sow and it’s my time. For once, I’m ready. Via: Access Hollywood

Normalize You Inspire Me

Stealing, imitating, trying to be, taking bits of people’s personality, then pretending it’s your own while disrespecting, hating, or throwing shade at the same person is weirdo shit. There are people I know who confuse my cool with their own just cause I’m in their presence, people who wouldn’t even be where they are had they never met me, and still have the audacity. When someone inspires me I tell them, I thank them, that’s the difference. You see it in my blessings, which your jealousy can’t stop. Start giving people the credit they deserve. Only herb ass weirdos pull the aforementioned behavior, the truly mundane, provincial, unoriginal. Boring and basic is not the vibe, which doesn’t mean you steal from stars pretending their light is yours. Can’t stand it, won’t tolerate it.

As a culture, this is all black people experience. People calling it ghetto then ripping it off. When you see other black people aiding these clowns, or following their behavior it’s abhorrent. Uncle Tom’s are the reason they think it’s okay to treat us as subhuman. When in reality we’re the blueprint of humanity. It’s unacceptable and will be handled. The slaves who tried to keep us on the plantation were the most dangerous. Name three people to thank for helping you be you. Via: The Very Black Project

Titty Tassels Over Lace Are In

Apparently dangling nipple accessories over lace is the new wave. I saved the first photo a few months back, then stumbled upon Beyoncé rocking titty tassels too. Twirl those titties sis, twirl those titties sis! Twirl those titties sis, twirl those titties sis! I’m here for it, are you? Which look do you prefer? Via: Offfbrand & Virgo Yoncee

Midweek Check In

Monday isn’t the only day to boost your confidence and begin anew, every moment is an opportunity to do so. Believe in yourself, but stay grounded in reality. Get as close to Hottie’s self-esteem without spreading fallacies and delusion. Insanely enough this isn’t even the craziest thing she’s said. It has to be stating her hair was real when in fact an entire track was on full display. How are you feeling about yourself today? Via: Literally Iconic

Types Of Women

I’ve learned there are two types of women in this world, some are mermaids, others are sirens. Oftentimes people get confused, believing them to be one in the same, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Being able to tell the difference is crucial.

A Tale Of Two Sisters is a Netflix documentary, chronicling the sibling rivalry/mutual adoration between Jackie Onassis and Lee Radziwill. When profiling the first lady’s ascent it was made abundantly clear, without her President John F. Kennedy would not have won. While campaigning it was Jackie’s charm that stole the hearts of millions; multilingual and dressed to the nines Jackie could relate to anyone. Receiving this information caused me to further pontificate on the importance of a woman. Not in an archaic sense of sexism, as if we’re objects, but from my viewpoint to determine who I aspired to be. Even stay at home wives appreciate, or depreciate the quality of one’s life. Jackie O, like Beyoncé Michelle Obama, Lady Di…was a mermaid.

Mermaids are beautiful lady creatures who manifest the divine for themselves, as well as their partners. They’re full packages that bring endless blessings no matter the role. One half of a proper power couple. Mermaids are not only alluring, but winsome: intelligent, classy, brave and outspoken.

Sirens once depicted as half bird, half woman in ancient times, have morphed into mermaid like critters. They appear gorgeous and talented, luring one in with song, but it’s all a facade. Up close they are ghastly, fating their admirers to crash. They drain energy, like light going into a black hole.

A simple way to tell the difference is to look at whether your life has gotten better, or worse with them in it. Which one are you? Which one are you partnered with? Can you think of modern day mermaids and sirens? Photo: Clara Berry Instagram

Summer Fall Vibes

Well it’s that time of year, the in between fake summer and false fall. This is how we get got with the flu, improper dressing. Compounding the issue Covid-19. Wear layers people! Maybe this is what Sheree meant when speaking about her clothing line. Are you going the extremely long denim pants, a vest and long sleeved gloves, or the oversized blazer sleeves, with slightly oversized velvet pants route? Which is your summer fall vibe? Via:Black Is King & Hand In Fire Insta

It’s Fri-Bey

I know what I said yesterday, but it’s Beyoncé…period. On this day she selflessly donated $1,000,000 to the NAACP. I love you and happy birthday to an icon, a legend, a queen. Go enjoy your last summer weekend folks. Buying red wine tomorrow for the beach, because Beyoncé is drinking red wine. Via: Beyonce Fan 2.1

Birthday Bey

Black Is King Styled By Zerina Akers

Visually stunning, nothing less to be expected from a Knowles. My only wish is my uterus be as gifted as Miss Tina’s; I mean this is bananas, the talent that womb birthed is extraordinary. For the haters in the back, Beyoncé is allowed to celebrate her ancestry any way she chooses. This isn’t appropriation, she’s reconnecting the black diaspora. Showing accurate representation of black divinity, which is so feared they try to white wash our history and degrade us to caricatures of the white imagination. Operative word try, as in attempted, as in failed. And FYI for the brainless, although the African American was created by the rape of our ancestors, our lineage does not begin there.

Round of applause to Zerina Akers for styling this film. SHE WENT OFFFFFFFF. That effortless cool we exude perfectly captured. I truly don’t know which look was my favorite and this isn’t even a fraction of what was done. THIS amongst many things is why black folks set the tone. Take notes, don’t steal our shit and give us credit. Period. You welcome and thank you Queens. Which look is your favorite? Which do you think is going to be the Halloween costume of 2020? Via: Beyonce 1, Black Is King, Valentine Bey & Miss Beyoncee

Rest, Recovery, Reflection

Quarantining hasn’t been difficult for me, as a writer and art enthusiast. Spending time alone to learn and create is the norm. Had this been say ten years ago, when I was constantly interacting with others, on the phone, out and about, anything to keep from being alone, unhealed trauma echoing against the walls of my mind, I would’ve gone mad. I’ve had my freedom restricted when I went to jail for 24 hours, I’m talking no phone, no water in the dead of summer, no cable tv, no ipad, no laptop, no idea what time of day it was…This isn’t that, so I’m Gucci.

My friend Tom direct messaged me, stir crazy, looking for sanity tips. I just couldn’t relate. We aren’t in Medieval times, plus pot makes many things enjoyable. I’ve been that person who validates themselves with the external and how productive I could be. The former led me to immense unhappiness, the latter took a toll on my health. Now my motto is if God took a day of rest after creating the world, who the hell do I think I am? Shout out to Pastor Donna for that little saying.

People should embrace being forced to do nothing, it resets you, recharges your battery, teaches you things about yourself. Everything happens for a reason, so find the purpose in this gift. Time is the most valuable currency and we’ve been given it in abundance, where others have not, how fortunate.

Even though I reflect daily, the world being forced to stop pushed things I needed to address to the surface, that otherwise would go unnoticed:

  • Without trust there is nothing, no friendship, no business partner, no true romance. There were areas in my life missing this key ingredient, I still tried to make it work and now that it can’t I feel sweet relief. If you’re doing most of the work, if the person you’re working with is jealous of you, lies and doesn’t contribute as much, wish them well and move on.
  • Money can’t buy you class, Luann De Lesseps was accurate af. Celebrities and celebrisites (parasites riding the backs of celebrities) who lack complete decorum. Classless swine, complaining of boredom, when there are people dying. This is a pandemic, are you kidding? Lady Di, Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Jackie-O would NEVER. It speaks volumes. Tacky, tacky, tacky. You can feel it, but you’re not five years old, have the discipline not to say it. Respect the people whose likes, follows and money have you sitting in a mansion.
  • God’s rejection truly is a blessing. Thank you for preventing me from further interaction with certain toxic people, the list is enormous. May not have understood at the time, but boy do I understand now.

Are you taking this time to reflect on your life? Are you having trouble being alone because you’re not your biggest fan? Do you identify with the external more than the internal? What have you learned so far? Via: Soul Ection